They Call Me Güero by David Bowles

Author:David Bowles
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cinco Puntos Press
Published: 2018-09-15T00:00:00+00:00

TAMALADA

Christmas Eve Day, we gather at Mimi’s house,

excited to make dozens of warm tamales.

Usually the women and girls do the work

while the men watch football. Not this year!

Teresa, my tomboy sister, wants to see the game,

so I take her place, happy with my small job

of soaking the cornhusks in water.

I love the gossip, el chisme!

Mimi kneads the masa, of course, correcting

everyone with a scolding voice though her eyes

are full of mischief. My mother and her concuñas

cook the fillings: chicken, beans, pork, sweet raisins.

Aunt Vero and my cousins Silvia and Magy spread

a thin layer of dough on cornhusks with silver spoons.

“Careful!” Mimi calls. “Those are family heirlooms,

last bit of wealth from before la Revolución!”

Other teams of tías and primas spoon in

the fillings, fold them up, tie them tight,

and stand them neat in pots for baño maría steaming.

The warmth of the kitchen mixes with laughter

as great-grandma Luisa stirs the champurrado,

and leads the rich plática: stories, gossip,

old dichos that make us laugh with happiness

nourishing us like good tamales!

“You know, muchachas,” she announces, grinning,

“Jorge never tried to kiss me when we were a-courtin’.

As God is my witness. I kept giving him hints, pero nada.

Well, after a while, I got good and fed up. Took matters

into my own hands back behind his father’s barn.”

All the women burst into laughter, and I try to picture

my great-grandfather Don Jorge as an awkward boy.

“A bit dense, these men,” Luisa adds with a wink.

Mimi pulls a fist from the masa and gestures.

“Like father, like son…con todo respeto,”

she says to her suegra. “A fact y’all may not know:

Manuel always cheats on his golf score.

He figures nobody’s noticed his handicap.”

Silvia frowns, annoyed. “And you don’t tell him

anything, abuela?” Mimi laughs. “Ay, m’ija.

What good would it do? I just let him win!”

Mom chimes in at once. “Oh, and when he

and his son get together! Güero, do you remember

when your grandpa Manuel and your dad

went deep-sea fishing? Well, they didn’t catch a thing.”

My mouth falls open. “But…we ate those fillets!”

Mom shakes her head. “That’s because they bought

a swordfish from a beachside store. Then they lied,

said they’d reeled it in by themselves!”

My little cousin Silvia turns to me. “Hey, didn’t

Grandpa Manny put beer in your bottle

when you were a baby?” I shake off some husks

and reply. “Yup, but I squirted that nasty stuff

right in his eye!” The women all nod in approval.

“Cada hombre cuerdo lleva un loco dentro,”

mutters Tía Susana. “There’s a nutjob waiting

inside every sane man!” They all agree.

Tía Vero, laughing, jumps in next. “On the day

of our wedding, Mike backed his car into a ditch,

remember? We were already running so late.”

Mimi groans. “Ah, sí. His brothers had to lift it out.

Ese Mike, always in danger. You know what they say:

Arrimarse a la boca del lobo, es de hombre bobo.

Our men dive right into the jaws of the wolf!

What lovely fools.”

Luisa looks at me and shakes her head.

“Speak of the devil. Los hombres y las gallinas,

poco tiempo en la cocina, Güerito. Go on,

check the score. My Cowboys best be winning!”

I head to the living room, hear encouraging cheers,

think about the gossip I’ve heard.

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