The the End of Patriarchy by Robert Jensen

Author:Robert Jensen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Spinifex Press
Published: 2017-10-21T16:00:00+00:00

Rape’s Reality

Whatever disagreements about the role of patriarchal culture in men’s violence, there are clear patterns in how women adapt their behavior to live in such a culture. An easy way to illustrate that is an exercise that anti-violence educators have developed to make the reality of rape visible to men.

In an audience with men and women, the facilitator poses a simple question, directed first to the men only: “What actions have you taken in the past week to minimize your risk of being sexually assaulted?” The men in the room usually look puzzled, because they can’t think of any such actions. When I have used this exercise, most often a man will finally say, “Well, I tried to make sure I didn’t go to prison,” which elicits giggling, though prison rape is of course not a joke, nor is the fact that men outside of prison sometimes rape other men. After a moment of silence, most people in the room can see where the exercise is heading.

When the same question is posed to the women, they start shouting out their many strategies, which include careful attention to where they are, at what time of day/night, with whom. Women talk about reducing the likelihood they will be in a place where a stranger could surprise them and take control without being seen. Women also talk about how they minimize the risks around men they know socially, such as at parties and bars, especially involving alcohol and the fear of being drugged. Women talk about the care they take when going on a date, such as alerting a friend that they are going out with a man for the first time and making sure the friend’s phone will be on in case of a call for help. And then there are the strategies around weapons—everything from pocket knives to pepper spray to car keys held tightly between the fingers to increase the debilitating effect of a quick jab.

Women also talk a lot about decisions they make about clothing, one of the subjects that demonstrates how difficult it can be to juggle the expectations of men and the threat men pose. Going to a party or bar, heterosexual women who want to be accepted in a social network often strive to look attractive, which creates pressure to display their bodies in tight and revealing clothes. At the same time, the fear of rape can suggest a strategy of hiding their bodies in loose-fitting clothes. Different women make different decisions, but what’s most important in this exercise is for men to realize how present the threat of rape is in women’s lives and how many decisions they make about that threat. As Gail Dines puts it, when a young woman goes out, the culture is teaching her that “the only alternative to looking fuckable is to be invisible.”112

That exercise also often leads into a broader discussion, not just of rape but the routine behavior of men that isn’t rape but feels invasive, the reality of sexual intrusion.

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