The Tao of Pam by Suzanne Jenkins

Author:Suzanne Jenkins [Jenkins, Suzanne]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2013-11-04T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

After Zach parked the Hummer, said goodbye, and walked to his own car, Ted could no longer hide his anger. It was all he could do not to push Ashton through the door of the apartment building or into the elevator. As they rode up the floors, he realized he was almost snorting through his nostrils, he was breathing so heavily. Every five seconds or so, Ashton would either sigh or sob. The scene in the car where Ted slapped his face was fresh in both their minds. They’d crossed a point of no return in their relationship, something they couldn’t ignore. They had to address it and deal with it right away.

Although his emotions swung from one extreme to the next, one moment loving her with all his heart and the next moment not, right now Ashton hated Ted’s daughter. There was no getting around it. Deborah’s existence brought out the worst in Ashton. He was jealous of her for so many reasons: what she represented, the union of Ted and Natalie, her looks and personality, even her intellect. She was smarter than Ashton was. She commanded and demanded respect. And the most important, she was a woman.

Ashton used to imagine he was more like the Pams of the world: pretty, stylish, poised. But having met Deborah, he changed his mind. He’d be a free spirit, wild, organic and happy. He thought of the night Natalie, a larger version of Deborah, took her clothes off in front of him, how her breasts mesmerized him. He longed to touch them because he wanted to have a set himself, not because they aroused him. She’d grasped the edge of her nightgown and pulled it off her body. He looked away when her crotch was exposed; there was something tantalizing about it, covered in black, he wanted to ask her to lie back on the sofa so he could take a closer look. He’d always known he was gay, so there were no forays into dating women like Ted had had. And he was totally ignorant of the workings of their bodies.

Once, years and years ago, when he knew Jack had been with a girl for the first time, Ashton begged him to tell him about it, but he refused. “I’m not giving you any ammunition for fantasies,” he’d said. “Go find someone and do it yourself. I highly recommend it.”

“But why?” Ashton begged. “I don’t want to know the hows. Just the whys.”

“It’s different, that’s all,” Jack said. “They’re soft. They have softer skin. I don’t want to talk about it because I’ll get hot and have to go out again and find one to fuck.”

“Give me an example of what it’s like. Give me something I can compare it to.”

Jack just laughed. “Trust me, Ash, there’s nothing to compare it to. It’s like it’s lined with warm, moist, elastic velvet.”

Ashton shuddered. It did sound wonderful. But he would feign distaste. “Ew. That’s awful.”

Jack moved away from him. “You’ll never know until you try it.

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