The SnowFang Secret by Merry Ravenell

Author:Merry Ravenell [Ravenell, Merry]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: 9 Swords
Published: 2023-01-18T18:30:00+00:00

Half The Pie, As Agreed

Searle watched me fold up jeans and some flannels. Not exactly Florida-in-April wear, but it’d get me there. I could source some tacky airbrushed tourist-bait tees on the way to the swamp.

He smelled of annoyance, aggravation, and something deeper that didn’t have an easy name. “I do not appreciate being a yo-yo.”

But he signed up for it. Wouldn’t do any good to point out the obvious to him, and it would just rub salt in his wounds. I stopped packing. “Nobody is trying to play with your feelings.”

Gaia might be, but we couldn’t argue with Her. Just shake our fists at the uncaring ground.

“I do not even know where you are going,” he growled.

“Fieldwork is part of an Adjunct and Apprentice’s life.” Color me not sympathetic.

Searle’s scent morphed into a deep, bloody jealousy. “I know who you’re going with. So you know what I’m talking about.”

“You’re jealous of the other half of my soul. He is always going to be part of me. Death isn’t going to erase that, and there’s a chance his death will kill me.”

I’d made that promise to Sterling, but the reality was mates often didn’t survive each other. The despair and grief and emptiness often consumed and devoured their existence. When my mother had died, I’d been terrified my father would fade and follow too. My mother, unbeknownst to me, had also found a way to survive, while my father had never been in danger at all.

Maybe, ultimately, her cancer had been a manifestation of a loss she could no longer endure.

“Death is not going to erase what he is,” I repeated. “You say we’re broken halves, so why do you keep getting upset you’re only getting half the pie? You agreed to half the pie.”

“Because,” Searle said, “I could let myself fall in love with you. And I wish you would let me try to love you. I want us to at least try! But you refuse to try.”

No, not my fleas, not my circus. “Grabbing my crotch and humiliating me after Equinox because you think you got cucked is really not how to win anything but a long night on the floor in the hallway.”

He shifted his jaw. “We could be happy together, and you keep clinging to that wolf.”

“He’s the other half of my soul. I don’t cling to him, he’s part of me. You keep grinding on me that he’s going to die in July, but have you accepted there’s going to be some grieving? Or do you think I’ll just weep quietly in private at a mutually convenient time?”

“Which is why we are all telling you to start distancing yourself now. Like breaking in a new pair of boots! Start wearing them a little at a time. I don’t want to see you suffer, and none of us want to see you die.”

Oh, so this was about what they wanted. How extremely adorable. “The most you will ever get is half of me. The broken half. Not because that’s what you deserve, but because that’s what you agreed to take.

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