The Perfect Dad by Rob Stennett

Author:Rob Stennett
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736962995
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers

7

Coach

The spectrum for how to coach your kid in a sport has two extremes. On one end is the ultracompetitive approach, which usually involves the dad who sees every stoplight as the starting line at the Daytona 500 and every toss of a crumpled piece of paper in the wastebasket as the game-winning shot in the NBA finals. To this dad, the only thing that matters more than winning is how his kid played that day. This dad dreams of his son or daughter winning college scholarships, Olympic gold medals, and a multimillion-dollar deal to play in the pros. You can easily spot the ultracompetitive dad by the way the purple veins pop out in his neck as he screams at his own kid, the other kids on both teams, the refs, the equipment manager, and the hot dog venders.

Nobody likes this dad.

Which may be why the other type of dad has appeared. We’ll call this the “fun is the most important thing” dad. He never wants to keep score, and the highlight of every game is the kids’ party afterward—sipping Capri Suns, picking the grass, and running around aimlessly. If a kid doesn’t feel like going to a practice, this dad lets him skip it. If a kid wants to quit, the fun dad says there’s no point making our kids do something they hate. Sports are useful for teaching teamwork, but competition can bring out the worst in us, so this dad wants to give every kid a trophy. He knows his kid has no chance of turning pro, so he just lets the kids have fun until the sport gets too competitive to play any longer.

Somewhere in the middle of these two dads is the ideal balance.

I need to find that balance.

As I was writing this book, I asked people—friends, colleagues, social media acquaintances, and strangers in the supermarket checkout line—about memories with their dads. Sports came up all the time. Some were happy: “I loved the way Dad came to every game.” Others were filled with regret: “I don’t think my dad ever thought I could be good at sports.” Some people loved the way their dads cheered from the sidelines, taught them the art of the jump shot, and showed them how to throw a football in a perfect spiral. Others deeply regretted that Dad never played catch or cared about the sports they played.

How we approach sports is one of the things that defines us as fathers. I’ve wondered why sports matter so much. I have realized as I’ve watched my kids participate that sports provide their first opportunity to learn that not all kids are created equal. Some are stronger, faster, and more skilled. No matter how hard you try, sometimes you lose. Games with a ball and field are small chances for us to teach big lessons about dealing with adversity, the virtues of practice, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and how great teammates win even when they lose.

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