The Net Will Appear by Erin Mallon

Author:Erin Mallon [Mallon, Erin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9798660025334
Amazon: B08BWHQD8T
Publisher: Independently published
Published: 2020-06-28T23:00:00+00:00

Part Three

Bernard is cleaning the leaves out of his gutters, his back to Rory’s house. The cooler sits near him. He stops and takes a gulp of his drink.

BERNARD: I know you’re watching me. (Beat) I’m not a man oblivious to his surroundings. (Beat) You know, when you approach a person, it’s customary to make your presence known. (Beat) Alright that’s enough, stop staring at me.

Rory: I’m not staring at you! I’m gazing with wonder at the majesty of the falling leaves!

She’s popped her head out of her window.

Bernard: Sure you are.

He goes back to cleaning his gutters.

Silence.

Rory watches him.

Rory: (whisper-yelling)

How are you? You’ve been hiding in your house so much lately.

Bernard: Why are you whispering?

Rory: (whisper-yelling)

I’m not supposed to be talking to you.

Bernard: Speak up, I can’t hear you.

Rory: (whisper-yelling)

Everyone thinks you’re dangerous and possibly disturbed.

Bernard: (whisper-yelling back at her)

Ya know what? Perhaps whispering to a 75-year old man from a great distance isn’t the best game plan for being heard.

Rory: What?

Bernard: SPEAK UP!

Rory: EVERYONE THINKS YOU’RE A PSYCHO!

Beat.

Bernard: Well “everyone” is wrong. You know what a rumor is, kid?

Rory: Yes, it’s the bump you get when you have cancer.

Bernard: No... that’s a tumor.

Rory: Right. Duh. (Beat) Well I’d better go downstairs and-

Bernard: Look.

Rory: What?

Bernard: (pointing)

Mousetraps. Took ’em down. All sparrows have been spared.

Rory: Oh. Good. (Beat) You’re still killing people though, right?

Bernard: What?! What is going on with you?

Rory: Sorry! The nervousness is making me say dumb things!

Bernard: You’re nervous talking to me?

Rory: Maybe!

Bernard: Well that’s ridiculous. I’m the same old Nard as before. Got any questions... just ask me.

Rory: Ok. (Beat) Why were the police at your house that day? Were you caught murdering or loitering or something? Why do you drink Jim Beam juice all the time when there are so many other flavors in the world? Do you think I’m pretty? Do you like having weeds in your yard or are you too lazy to give them a good mowing? Would you consider yourself a sad person or a happy person? Do you think I’m smart? Do you get scared when you go to confession too? Why don’t you ever drive a car? How come you lied about having a daughter? How come I’ve never met your wife? Are you hiding them? Or did you do like something very bad to them? Oh and, I’ve missed you. Have you missed me?

Beat.

Bernard: If I was caught murdering or loitering, would I be out here “gazing in wonder at the majesty of the falling leaves?”

Rory: Ha! Probably not.

Bernard: Definitely not. I would be in prison.

Rory: Wearing a cool orange jumpsuit!

Bernard: I suppose so, yes.

Rory: I think your silvery hair would look real nice against the orange.

Bernard: Regardless... (Beat) I drink Jim Beam juice because I like it, I don’t drive a car because I don’t need to, and the police were at my house that day because Irma called them.

Rory: Why’d she call ’em?

Bernard: She was scared.

Rory: Of what?

Bernard: She couldn’t find Chrissy.

Beat.

Rory leaps out onto her roof.

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