The Last of the Haussmans by Stephen Beresford

Author:Stephen Beresford [Beresford , Stephen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781780011561
Publisher: Nick Hern Books

ACT TWO

Autumn

Scene Four

Bright September morning. There is a drinks table set up in the garden. JUDY is lying on her daybed wrapped in blankets and shawls and wearing large sunglasses. She is considerably weaker than when we last saw her. NICKY is kneeling at her feet, painting her toenails. At first, there’s just silence. Birdsong. Then, when JUDY speaks, it’s strange. Disconnected.

JUDY. The only thing to be in life is a rebel.

NICK. Or an air hostess.

Little beat.

When I was about eleven or so – before my voice had broken, anyway – I had a recurring fantasy. Shall I tell you? I imagined slipping away from this house in one of Granny’s Chanel suits, and becoming, I blush to say it, a new and mysterious weather girl on the local news. I saw it all. Even my own downfall. Late one afternoon, during a particularly heartfelt gale-force warning, my voice would suddenly break. ‘Attention all shipping – ’ And with my true identity revealed, the entire West Country region would swarm on the Plymouth studios – brandishing weapons, guns, flaming torches.

Beat.

I try to reason with them. Addressing them in my wobbly contralto. But – I have deceived them. It is more than they can bear. I have, after all, opened fêtes, hospices; embraced sick children. I have tap-danced on Children in Need. No – They tear me to pieces on Plymouth Hoe. Nothing remains of me. I am extinguished.

After a second, LIBBY appears from the house. She looks worried.

LIBBY. Any change?

NICK shakes his head.

That’s it. I’m going to ring him.

LIBBY goes back into the house.

NICK. This ought to be interesting.

JUDY. All the rebels –

NICK. Yes?

JUDY. It’s – in the heart – An energy – Isn’t it? Restless. Pushing forward –

NICK. You’d have liked punk. Talk about restless energy. Or rave. Some of the happiest days of my life happened then. With that crowd. It was wonderful. I tore tickets at the Whirl-Y-Gig for a while. I wore a blue-plastic wetsuit with big boots and a very dramatic smoky eye. Wonderful people. Angry. Creative. That’s what I should have gone into, really. Nightclubs. If only I could have focused my energies.

Little beat.

My friend. Freda – she was a performance artist. She used to walk out on stage in a ball gown made of dustbin liners and shred her clothes into – tiny – little – strips – flay herself, if you will – to a backing track of howling dogs. Until, at last she revealed – Ta-daa! A prodigiously pierced vagina. It was a wonderful act. You would have loved her.

Beat.

‘The Duchess of Cunt.’

He admires the work so far.

You’re going to like this colour.

JUDY. Red – ?

NICK. Not just red. Blood red. The red of battlefields. Khmer Rouge.

DANIEL appears with a bundle of old fairy lights. He looks happier – more at ease.

You’ve made a wonderful job of that, Daniel.

DANIEL. Thank you.

NICK. You ought to go in for it. Perhaps we could have a little business. What do you think? Set design.

DANIEL. I thought we were going to start a rock band.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.