The Final Exam by Gitty Daneshvari & Carrie Gifford

Author:Gitty Daneshvari & Carrie Gifford [DANESHVARI, GITTY]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780316190879
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2011-10-02T16:00:00+00:00

EVERYONE’S AFRAID OF SOMETHING:

Apotemnophobia is the fear

of people with amputations.

In light of the enormous time restrictions before Sylvie’s story was to go to press, the School of Fearians immediately began their mission to save Toothpaste. They started with a search of the premises, looking in every cupboard, closet, and chest for the small but chatty bird. After two hours, however, having neither heard a peep nor found a feather, they all agreed it was unlikely the bird had been stashed inside.

“Okay, the bird’s not here, or at least not anywhere we can see, so I think it’s time we formulate some kind of plan,” Garrison said to the others, huddled in the middle of the Standing-Room-Only Sitting Room.

“Does stopping to have a snack count as a plan?” Theo asked earnestly.

“No!” Lulu answered decisively. “Feeding your tapeworm is just going to have to wait.”

“That was uncalled for! You know darn well tapeworms come from eating meat! Are you implying I’m a covert carnivore? A fraudulent vegetarian?”

“Would everyone please stop talking about tapeworms? Just the thought of one makes me feel rather green,” Madeleine said, steadying herself against the wall.

“Totally, Mad Mad,” Hyacinth agreed. “Plus, Celery suffered a pretty traumatic loss last year when her bestie Arthur, a ground worm, was murdered by a crow right in front of her eyes. She had nightmares for, like, a week…. It was super intense.”

“A week? That’s it? Some friend,” Theo muttered under his breath.

“Celery says you’re in no position to judge, seeing as you once mourned the loss of a sandwich for, like, a month.”

“They discontinued the ultimate veggie western burger! It was a major milestone in my life! And for the record, it was three and a half weeks, not a month.”

“Enough about worms and sandwiches,” Garrison said with a frustrated sigh. “We need to find this bird so we can get out of here. I don’t know about you guys, but I really don’t want to spend another night in that basement.”

“We could do bird calls around the yard and see if Toothpaste responds,” Madeleine suggested halfheartedly.

“Are you expecting the canary to call out, ‘Hey, guys, I’m over here’?” Lulu asked skeptically.

“No, but I thought he might just fly to us if he heard his name.”

“I’m pretty sure they’re keeping him in some sort of confined space, seeing as they kidnapped him,” Lulu responded patronizingly.

“Well, what do you suggest, Lulu?” Madeleine pushed back.

“Why don’t we just ask them? They seem pretty dumb; they’ll probably tell us.”

“Sounds good to me,” Theo said as he smoothed his hall-monitor sash. “I am ready when you are.”

“Actually, I bet these guys will respond to Garrison and me better. You know, ’cause we’re cool and stuff,” Lulu stated confidently.

“Celery thinks you have a pretty big ego, which, like a big butt, isn’t so attractive,” said Hyacinth.

Theo and Madeleine couldn’t help but smile; never had they so agreed with anything Celery said.

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