The Donut Legion by Joe R. Lansdale

Author:Joe R. Lansdale
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Published: 2023-03-21T00:00:00+00:00

(29)

It had been a while, so I felt a little out of practice on how to handle the situation. When we were inside, I locked the door, started to turn. Scrappy pushed my shoulders back and pinned me against the door. She put her lips to mine. They were so hot, they burned. The taste of fire was surprisingly delightful.

From there, it was like the Hansel and Gretel bread-crumb trail made with our clothes. By the time we climbed in bed, we were completely naked.

She straddled me and put her face close to mine. Our noses touched.

She said, “I think we’re going to go there, we ought to have some guidelines.”

“Guidelines?”

“Here’s the thing. I have a list from A to F. I could probably add more letters, but I find these sufficient, and a couple I’m merely curious about. I used to have a G but discovered I didn’t like sticky things like chocolate or honey spread on me. I hate sticky.”

“Check. No G. No sticky.”

“I thought I’d best mention it straight out. Each one of these letters is something I like to do or might like to do. I’ll tell you each, and you tell me which ones interest you or might interest you.”

“I’m sort of game in general. Maybe we can just find out as we go.”

“No. Listen.”

She told me the list from A to F. No G.

“Okay,” she said. “Which ones?”

“A and B I’m definitely in for. D sounds good and nasty. I have done that one before. F, I don’t know. That’s on the fringe.”

“What’s wrong with C?”

“You like C?” I asked.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Okay. I don’t think I’d like that.”

“Score it this way. We are definitely going to do A and B. D if time and energy allow, as I’m hoping you’re not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of guy.”

“Depends on the day. And how long this preparation is going to take.”

“C is a wobble. Right? Admit it. You thought: Maybe. Right? But you didn’t want to be embarrassed?”

“I guess so.”

“That elevates C to performance.”

“Does it?”

“F is out.”

“Out.”

“And I’ve already said about G.”

“I’m all with you there.”

“Let’s start with B, Charlie boy. What do you think?”

“Definitely B.”

B was fun, A was better, and D was terrific. C turned out to be damn good too. We even ended up doing F. We saved it for last.

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