The Bad Boys of Assjacket: Magic and Mayhem Universe: Magic and Mayhem, #9 by Robyn Peterman

Author:Robyn Peterman [Peterman, Robyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Robyn Peterman

Chapter Eight

After a round of introductions, we dove right into business and got Mac and Zelda up to speed. Stress was high. When Wanda was stressed, she fed people. When I was stressed, I liked to eat. It was a win-win.

“Oh my Goddess. You cut the cheese and asphyxiated everyone?” Zelda asked Boba with a wince as we finished filling them in on the situation.

“Yes, he let one rip,” Wanda confirmed with a chuckle. “It was a disgustingly fabulous finale to the very scary event.”

Mac shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t get it. Why are they stopping in town? I had two humans stop by police headquarters this afternoon asking for directions. No one stops at headquarters. No human stops in Assjacket at all.”

Zelda pulled Blythe onto her lap and began checking her injuries. “No one until today. The magic is wonky. I can feel it.”

“Do I need to spread some more green goop?” Sassy questioned sleepily, leaning on Jeeves.

Zelda shook her head no, and carefully healed Blythe. “No. It would be a waste of goop. This feels different. It’s not the balance of magic that’s off, it’s…”

“It’s as if the glamour was removed,” Mac finished her thought.

Gently putting Blythe down, Zelda picked up Annie Surely and examined her wounds. “Exactly. But was a glamour ever put on this town? I can’t feel it if it was.”

“Me neither,” Sassy agreed. “If it was glamoured or warded, it wasn’t a witch or warlock who did it. Should we consult Baba Yoknowitall?”

“Nope.” Zelda put a healed Annie Surely down and gently patted her head. “This is my town and I’ll solve the problem. Is there any record of the history of magic for the town?”

“Oh shit,” I said with a mouth full of cookie. “Pun intended, by the way.”

“Dude,” Zelda said, eyeing me. “Swallow the cookie and finish the thought or you're gonna lose a nard.”

“I like her,” Poutine said with a giggle. “She’s vicious.”

“Thank you,” Zelda replied to Poutine. “I’m also materialistic, and I try to have a shitty attitude at all times. However, that’s been a failure as of late. I’m too fucking happy.”

Mac laughed and planted a kiss on the top of his mate’s head. “Too bad. So sad. However, I think I know where Fat Bastard was going with his crappy pun.”

“Youse just made a pun,” I accused Mac with a chuckle.

“Yep. Couldn’t help myself,” Mac replied grinning. “As the story goes, there was an Assjackian historian who went by the name of Goober. He used the historical journals to wipe his ass when he ran out of toilet paper a few hundred years ago. Apparently, everyone was so pissed, he was chased out of town never to be heard from again.”

“Goober, you say?” Poutine asked, her ears perking up with interest.

Mac nodded.

“Was he a Shifter?” Blythe inquired, glancing over at Poutine.

“Probably,” Mac confirmed. “But it was before I was alive and the records are gone, so it’s a guess on my part.

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