The Anybodies by N. E. Bode

Author:N. E. Bode
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2009-10-15T16:00:00+00:00

4

THE TEST

THE KITCHEN HAD PATHS RUNNING THROUGH the stacked books. Mrs. Appleplum zipped around the maze. Fern and the Bone were sitting at the kitchen table. The Bone slowly, gently pushed a tower of books that sat in the middle of the table to one side so he and Fern could see each other. There were four places set, but no sign of the Miser.

The grandfather clock bonged six times, and it was clear that Mrs. Appleplum wasn’t going to wait for the Miser to arrive. She buzzed over to the stove and back to the table. “I’ve got more tests!” she said, smiling at Fern. “More tests for Ida Bibb! Are you ready?”

Fern almost didn’t recognize her name—Ida Bibb? But after a second’s hesitation and a small kick from the Bone under the table, she piped up, “Oh, yes! Yes!”

“First, we’ll begin simply,” Mrs. Appleplum said. The kitchen was hot from the hardworking stove. A moist steam made some of the books look puffy. Mrs. Appleplum’s cheeks were flushed. She uncovered a dish with a flourish.

The eggs were under-fried. Their greasy yolks jiggled. They were dyed a bright, bright green, like the ham. This was easy. Fern knew all of the Dr. Seuss books, all the silly rhyming, the furry, skinny-legged creatures. “No thank you,” Fern said. “I do not like green eggs and ham.”

The Bone said, “I’ll passs too,” but it was obvious that Mrs. Appleplum didn’t care about his likes and dislikes. Fern had gotten the answer right. Mrs. Appleplum buzzed away and back again. This time she held out a dish with four pieces of wrapped bubble gum. “Your entire meal!” she said. “It will taste like an entire meal, one course after the next!”

The Bone picked up a piece and began to unwrap it. “Really? That’sss amazing,” he said. “Where did you get thisss?”

Fern swiped it out of his hands and placed it back on the tray.

“No thanks. I’m afraid that I might turn into a blueberry if I ate this for dinner.”

Maybe you know about a boy named Charlie who won a trip through a chocolate factory owned and operated by Willy Wonka and about a certain Violet Beauregarde who loved bubble gum much too much for anyone’s good health.

Mrs. Appleplum smiled, whizzing back through the maze of books.

The Bone whispered, “Hey, I would have liked to have tried that!”

Mrs. Appleplum appeared again. “That leaves me only with this.” She whisked off another lid. “Turkish Delight!”

Now this was hard to resist. It was a beautiful Jell-O-like extravaganza covered with powdered sugar. Fern could smell the sugar and rose water. The Bone had already lifted his plate, hoping someone would fill it up. “I cssertainly am getting a real appetite!” he said.

Fern looked up at Mrs. Appleplum. Fern was thinking of a book in which kids had walked into a wardrobe and gotten into quite a bit of trouble in another world altogether. She said, “That would be lovely, but I’m afraid, very afraid, that once I started eating it, I wouldn’t be able to stop.

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