The Angry Therapist by John Kim

Author:John Kim
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Parallax Press
Published: 2017-04-17T16:00:00+00:00

I will have a cause.

I believe that everyone should have something that they are fighting for. It doesn’t have to be solving world hunger. It simply means having a direction and a driving passion behind a cause you believe in with every fiber of your being. Without direction, there’s no journey and no mission. You’re a river, not an ocean. The ocean is where you find life.

A CAUSE CREATES LIFE.

I will not let my work determine my worth.

We often make a living at the expense of having a life. From early on, we’ve been programed to desire to be successful by peers, parents, teachers, society, and the media. We plan everything around that success: We study our asses off to get into top schools, and we sacrifice time, sleep, and relationships to climb the corporate ladder. Our definition of success becomes more and more narrow, until we forget that a big part of success is quality of life. When we finally reach the mountaintop, our heads are in the clouds. There is no view, only less air.

I used to determine my value by what I accomplished, and tied success directly to my self-worth. My value came in the form of a sale. At one point that value was determined by selling scripts, then drinks (when I ran the family business). By defining my sense of self-worth through what I sold, I sold myself. I became powerless. I was not human; I was a robot. This contributed to my unhappiness, as well as to the expiration of my marriage. I will never let that happen again.

I will take care of myself first.

I will not be able to help others if I cannot take care of myself. If I want to continue my cause—coaching others—I cannot negotiate my own self-care.

I will always have non-negotiables.

My non-negotiables are what make me who I am today and define my character. They give me value and a Stance. Without protection, I am exposed to everything that has taken me down a path that strips me of my potential.

MODEL IN A BOTTLE DOT-COM

At one time in my life, people thought that I was a pimp—literally. When I was in my late twenties, I had an idea: to create an Internet reality show about models that didn’t have nudity, just real working models in Los Angeles. Streaming video had just been introduced to the world and there were no modeling shows on television at the time. This was pre-“America’s Top Model.”

But Modelinabottle.com failed miserably because I was negotiable. I had an investor who believed in me and gave me $100K to launch it. I rented a million dollar penthouse on The Sunset Strip and gave six models free rent in exchange for the ability to document their lives, castings, photo shoots, daily routines at the penthouse, etc. They ended up walking all over me. Or, more accurately, I allowed them to do so because I had no Stance. The penthouse became a frat house; the models brought in their boyfriends and had parties.

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