Still by Jen Silverman

Author:Jen Silverman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Yale University Press
Published: 2014-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Scene Nine

The hotel. CONSTANTINOPLE in DOLORES’S dominatrix clothes.

He catwalks up and down the pool table.

CONSTANTINOPLE

(imitating DOLORES)

But only black though, that’s the only color I have, I’m a punk rock bitch, not a girl.

ELENA walks in, wearing her carnival mask.

ELENA Dolores?

CONSTANTINOPLE

(startled)

Wow!

ELENA You’re not Dolores.

CONSTANTINOPLE I am not Dolores.

ELENA Do you work with Dolores?

CONSTANTINOPLE I do work with Dolores.

ELENA Oh, that’s wonderful.

(takes off her mask)

I’m so glad we could reschedule.

CONSTANTINOPLE But right now I’m “Pissed Off” at Dolores.

ELENA I imagine that happens often.

(pulls out a long roll of paper)

I brought a list with me of words that I find very upsetting. Dolores was going to shout them at me, in no particular order, I suppose. But if you find a particular order might be more effective than another one, please don’t restrain yourself.

CONSTANTINOPLE leans down from the pool table and takes the list. He looks it over.

CONSTANTINOPLE What’s this word?

ELENA “Repugnant.”

CONSTANTINOPLE What does it mean?

ELENA Disgusting. Vile. Causing … nausea. I cause nausea.

CONSTANTINOPLE Oh. What’s this one?

ELENA Putrid.

CONSTANTINOPLE Shouldn’t it be “PUH-trid?”

ELENA No, the “p-u” is pronounced like Pyu. In this case.

CONSTANTINOPLE Oh. I’m only somewhat literate.

These are a lot of words. Are you sure you want me to say all of them?

ELENA That would be good, yeah.

CONSTANTINOPLE

(reading from the list)

Incompetent repugnant putrid—

(ELENA is crying. He stops.)

Don’t do that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.

ELENA No, this is good. Go on.

CONSTANTINOPLE It doesn’t look good.

ELENA Please continue.

CONSTANTINOPLE —murderous inhuman—

ELENA is crying harder and louder.

CONSTANTINOPLE Can we not do this anymore?

ELENA But there’s more.

CONSTANTINOPLE I don’t like it when people do that.

ELENA Also, I may need you to beat me, but we haven’t gotten there yet. It’s an option that Dolores suggested.

CONSTANTINOPLE My mother won’t stop crying and it disorients me and makes my stomach upset and also I can’t find her, Dolores was supposed to find her but she’s not back yet and I think I’m more than Pissed Off, what’s more than Pissed Off? A word, I want a word for it.

ELENA Angry.

CONSTANTINOPLE I know that one and it isn’t mean enough.

ELENA Furious.

CONSTANTINOPLE It sounds limp.

ELENA Livid.

CONSTANTINOPLE Oh!

Wow.

Yes.

ELENA Do you think you should beat me?

CONSTANTINOPLE I don’t know, I’ve never done that before. Will you show me how?

ELENA I thought you worked with Dolores. Shouldn’t you have done everything before?

CONSTANTINOPLE I’m new.

ELENA Can I borrow this?

She takes the whip and clumsily brings it down on the pool table.

ELENA You do it like that. I think? I don’t know. I watched some videos on the internet? It looked sort of like that. All the women were thinner than me so I wondered if this only works for anorexic women? But then at the same time I keep thinking of the flagellants—they were these radical monks in the Dark Ages and they beat themselves and I think it made them feel better? About life and suffering and guilt, primarily about guilt. So maybe there’s something to this after all. You’re the professional, what do you think?

CONSTANTINOPLE Look I don’t know, I don’t entirely understand when you talk, but all of what you said sounds like … the opposite of wow.

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