Start Right Where You Are: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers, and Recovering Perfectionists by Sam Bennett

Author:Sam Bennett [Bennett, Sam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help, Creativity, Happiness, Personal Transformation
ISBN: 9781608684441
Google: dchADQAAQBAJ
Amazon: B01MCTIB84
Publisher: New World Library
Published: 2016-10-15T04:00:00+00:00

34. Nothing Bad Is Happening

YOU KNOW HOW WHEN TRAFFIC IS HORRIBLE and you got a late start to begin with and then someone honks at you for completely no reason and you start to get a bit . . .short-tempered?

Or when you’re squished into your airline seat (since I’m almost six feet tall, I’m always squished) and there’s a loud talker seated next to you and you’ve just realized that you left your novel at home so you’re facing a five-hour flight and you’ve got absolutely nothing to read or watch . . . can you feel the stress clench up your shoulders?

When my inner calm deserts me and my sense of humor is nowhere to be found and I can practically feel the cortisol flooding my system, there is one sentence that works for me.

“Nothing bad is happening.”

And then I try to exhale.

“Nothing bad is happening.”

This handy little phrase snaps everything back into perspective.

After all, the circumstances may be uncomfortable, or even unpleasant, but that doesn’t mean that things are bad.

In fact, maybe it’s an opportunity for me to open my eyes and notice the people around me — maybe make a joke with the flight attendant, or, in gridlock, smile at the driver stuck in the lane next to me.

Maybe it’s an opportunity to turn off the yelling voice inside my head that wants to insist, “It’s not supposed to be like this!” and tune in to the gentle voice that says, “Everything is unfolding — watch and see.”

Nothing bad is happening.

I’ve held that thought through divorce, through surgery, through severe financial setbacks, and guess what. It’s always been true.

Please don’t misunderstand me: I’m not saying that you should ignore feelings of anger, danger, disappointment, or sadness. Those feelings are powerful indicators that something is amiss, and they need safe expression and examination.

(And you know I think that the best thing to do with strong feelings is to turn them into some 5-Minute Art. A quick drawing of what “nothing ever works out for me” looks like can work wonders at transforming that painful thought.)

I’ll tell you a story that might help make this clear. Some years ago, I got a call from my doctor’s office that there was something they didn’t like about the results of my recent mammogram, and they wanted me to come in for another exam. “Sure,” I said. And inside I thought, “I’ll go in, but nothing bad is happening.” So I got to the appointment and endured the second mammogram (if you’ve never had one, just imagine a big, cold machine giving you a big, cold titty-twister — it is so very not fun), and then the technician got a concerned look on her face. “Wait right here,” she said. “Fine,” I thought, “but nothing bad is happening.” So I waited, and then waited some more in a different room, because they had decided I needed an ultrasound.

It was during the ultrasound that I had the unnervingly flippant thought, “Even if there is some kind of problem, it’s still not anything bad.

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