Stairlift to Heaven by Ravenscroft Terry

Author:Ravenscroft, Terry [Ravenscroft, Terry]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Razzamatazz Publications
Published: 2011-06-27T23:00:00+00:00

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April 28 2008. BALL PARK PRICE.

I’d gone shopping for a new up-and-over garage door as the other one has never been quite the same since The Trouble backed into it when she was going through the menopause. Neither has The Trouble for that matter, but whether it’s because of the menopause or backing into the garage door I’m not sure.

After taking the particulars of my garage door the salesman worked out a price and said, “Ball park, £210.”

If there’s anything guaranteed to get my goat it’s the Americanisation of the English language. I treated him to a withering look, and then in my best clipped Captain Mainwaring tone said, “What was that you said?”

“It’ll be £210. Ball park.”

I slipped Walmington-on-Sea’s finest into overdrive. “And which ball park would that be then?

“What?”

“Yankee Stadium? Shea Stadium? Candlestick Park?”

“I’m sorry?”

“They’re ball parks. Or perhaps it’s some other ball park to which you refer?”

A bemused shake of the head. “I’m not with you.”

I came to his assistance. “I mean when you said the ball park price was £210?”

He shrugged. “I meant it’s just a ball park price.”

“So it’s any ball park then?”

“….Well, yes. I suppose.”

“So what’s the normal price?”

“The normal price?”

“The price that isn’t the ball park price?”

“….Well, it’s the same.”

“The same?”

“The same as the ball park price.”

“Then why call it the ball park price?”

“….Well…..well it’s just an expression, that’s all.”

“Well here’s another expression. You know where you can stick your ball park price, along with your up-and-over garage door.”

After shopping around for the rest of the morning the best price I was able to get for a new garage door was £230, so it looks like my intolerance will be costing me £20. But as this isn’t a ball park price it will cheap at the price.

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