Soviet Signoras (Fieldwork Encounters and Discoveries) by Martina Cvajner

Author:Martina Cvajner [Cvajner, Martina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: SOC000000 Social Science / General
ISBN: 9780226662398
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
Published: 2019-10-21T16:00:00+00:00

Men Who Really Make You a Signora

When the news of a newly formed couple reached the group, Aksana would invariably comment that she was happy the woman had found her “Makedonac.” Looking older in years than her late fifties, and busy caring for a very difficult old couple, Aksana knew that she could not participate in the race to find a man, but she felt fully entitled to comment upon it. After expressing her joy for the woman, she would inevitably add, even in the woman’s presence, that “he is still an immigrant, just a little better.” The same assessment was sometimes articulated by women who had themselves entered into relationships with Macedonian men.

One evening, Veronika visited us in the waiting room. We were surprised, because she had nearly stopped visiting us since Armin had left his wife. This rare act of defiance was unexpected and we were all very interested in learning what happened. She had just had a fight with Armin, and she was furious. She was not looking for a friendly word, but rather for an audience in front of which to air her indictment of his faults.

Sitting on a chair and looking directly at us, she began by saying that he was just an immigrant “like us”; he was a pretentious fool who claimed that he would treat her as a signora but was unable to do so. He criticized her way of living; he claimed he had saved her from poverty and depravity, but, in fact, he had the same economic problems, the same crappy jobs, the same fights with his family in Macedonia, who always wanted more, and the same immigrant friends full of problems needing a sofa to sleep on. Since they had started living together, “There has never been money for us. I cannot remember the last time he asked me out.”

There was always some emergency there to deal with, and he was unwilling to acknowledge the needs of her parents in the same way that he recognized those of his relatives. I had the impression that Veronika felt genuinely betrayed by what she had previously regarded as an immense stroke of luck.

Veronika then expressed regret, saying, “I should have been smarter. I should have seen better. I should have dated an old prick who simply pays and does not complain if the money is not enough for the parents, the kids, the house. I should have chosen someone who could really make me a signora.” Once she uttered these words, Veronika left hurriedly and never returned. She seemed to me to play the role of a ghost in a classical drama, warning the characters of the hidden truth behind their desires.

The disappointment Veronika voiced was very similar to what Aksana had always stressed: Immigrant men could make your life better, but they could never enable you to escape the immigrant life. A real life as a signora—an economically secure and socially respected life—required a nonimmigrant man, an Italian. The women thought

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