Small Group Vital Signs: Seven Indicators of Heath that Make Groups Flourish by Mack Michael

Author:Mack, Michael [Mack, Michael]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: TOUCH Publications, Inc.
Published: 2014-08-27T16:00:00+00:00

Healthy Community Is … Genuine

When I was about ten years old, I made friends with two brothers in my neighborhood, Tim and Jeff Ward. Perhaps because I did not have a brother living at home, or just for fun, I told them I had a twin brother named Mark. We would be playing Wiffle ball, and I’d go home, change clothes, and come back as Mark. To help the ruse, I batted right handed as Mike and left handed as Mark. At first Mike was a better batter, but Mark steadily improved (which is how I became a decent switch-hitter). After a week or so, they grew suspicious, asking me questions like why we rode the exact same bike (our parents were too poor to afford two bikes) or why they never saw us together (because we only had the one bike!). When they came to our house, only one of us was ever around; the other had a game, choir rehearsal, or was at another friend’s house. Then one day, Jeff asked my mom where Mark was. “Who’s Mark?” my mom asked. The gig was up.

Why do so many of us pretend to be something we’re not? I think it’s because we’re afraid people won’t accept us for who we really are. So we put on a mask that hides the real us. We wear these masks at church, too— the one place we should be accepted for who we are. Someone once said “There’s more lying on Sunday morning than any other day of the week.” That could go for Thursday night at small group as well.

Real discipleship can only happen in an environment of authenticity. If we cannot be real and admit our faults and frailties to one another, we cannot grow beyond where we are. But when we build an environment where we can be real with one another, sin loses its death grip on us. Because people love us “anyway” we have the encouragement we need to battle against Satan’s attacks. The accountability of our friends helps us live the life we want to live but can’t live by ourselves.

How do you make your group more genuine? Over the years I’ve discovered the following principles:

1.

It Starts with the Leader. Group leaders set the tone for appropriate transparency. This starts with your relationship with God. When you have an intimate relationship with God and are sharing honestly and openly with him, you are more able to open your life to others.

2.

Develop Bonds of Trust. Note that I used the words “appropriate transparency” above. You do not want to share your deepest, darkest sin the first time you meet together. That would erode trust. As you work on your covenant (see Chapter 4), discuss the vitality of confidentiality. Group members must be able to trust others in the group for authenticity to take hold.

3.

Teach a New Way of Living. Recognize that this may be a new way of life for many people, even long-time churched folks. Help

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