Skills for Effective Counseling by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780830893478
Publisher: InterVarsity Press
Published: 2016-09-27T00:00:00+00:00

We have found that in some evangelical circles there is a misunderstanding that Christians should “have it all together.” When struggles come their way, they expect that their relationship with Christ will carry them through, helping them to meet every personal difficulty with peace and hope. Unfortunately, when such individuals find themselves experiencing inner turmoil, they may feel compelled to hide their confusion and pain so that they are not labeled by others in their faith community as unspiritual.

This view is not biblical. The psalmist often cries out to God in his anger, fear, pain and confusion. For example, Psalms 10, 28 and 55 each describe anger that is so intense that a desire for revenge is clearly expressed. Other psalms (e.g., Ps 42) reveal emotions of despair and hopelessness.

Authenticity also calls people to be honest about positive emotions, times of confusion and doubt or moments of excitement and extreme joy. Too often “Christian maturity” is perceived to mean stoicism or emotional neutrality. Just as David openly expresses his anger in the Psalms, he too expresses delight, praise and joy (e.g., Ps 98). The father of a miraculously healed boy authentically communicated to Jesus his tension between belief and doubt (Mk 9:24). And Paul expresses his appreciation and joy for the relationship he has with the Philippians with genuine delight (Phil 1:3-8).

Christ, too, offers us a model of how to be authentic. For instance, his agony is clear in the Garden of Gethsemane as he wrestles with his immanent crucifixion (Mk 14:32-36). Jesus even wept publicly when he was among those grieving for the death of Lazarus (Jn 11:35). The biblical example, therefore, is one of authenticity.

While the skill of authenticity refers to congruence on the part of the counselor, moment by moment in the counseling relationship, as Christian counselors our authenticity should go further; we should be authentically ourselves within all of our relationships. If we are incongruent outside counseling relationships, we are not living as Christ called us to live; we are called to live with integrity.

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