Sipping Fear Pissing Confidence: For Men: Solving the Riddle of Your Addictions by Christopher K. Wallace

Author:Christopher K. Wallace [Wallace, Christopher K.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help, Substance Abuse & Addictions, General
ISBN: 9781987954050
Google: 64-FzwEACAAJ
Publisher: Amazon Digital Services LLC - Kdp
Published: 2022-11-20T16:41:55.381087+00:00

The Attachment Threat Cycle

What got my attention was how Vaillant studied ego defenses used by the men to cope with life and how these evolved from immature defenses to mature defenses as they aged.

The integrated nervous system (ego in Freudian terms) referees between lower drives and the values and identity influenced executive function of higher-order thinking. In a related book, The Wisdom of the Ego, Vaillant writes of how we “deny, distort, and repress inner and/or outer reality to lessen anxiety and depression.” Understanding attachment and ego defenses exposes the root of anxiety and can change the way you deal with stress. Deal with stress and soon addiction is unnecessary.

You will remember Polyvagal Theory and the ventral vagus facilitating social engagement and reassurance (heart, lungs, throat, voice, facial expression). Ventral activation connects you with yourself, the world, your spirit, and especially others.

I like to explain Vaillant and others’ work around ego defenses as the “attachment threat cycle,” presented below in a graphic I use to teach the concepts. By understanding this cycle and where you might have picked up an imperfect model of the world, you gain deep understanding. I’m also betting that as you understand this in yourself, you will gain greater compassion for others.

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