Sinful Secrets (The Secrets of Sorlphi Book 2) by Miranda May

Author:Miranda May [May, Miranda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: anonymous
Published: 2022-12-26T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter eleven

Hadley

I love you, angel.

Kai’s words continue to echo through my thoughts as I shower, readying myself to face all the guys without anyone there as a buffer. I’d all but ran from him the moment we made it into the palace. I don’t know why his words terrified me so much, but they had. I’d frozen in place before choosing to pretend I hadn’t heard him, dragging him from the maze.

I know he loves me. He’d told me as much. I don’t understand why it’s hitting me so much harder this time. Why did it leave me feeling more vulnerable than ever? On the one hand, I’m glad that he loves me. On the other hand, now that he’s admitted it aloud, it’s forcing me to focus on what I’m feeling.

Do I love Kai?

Yes, absolutely, yes.

Do I want to admit that I love him?

Nope. I sure the fuck don’t. And that’s what it is, isn’t it? It’s that when he said it to me, the words were so close to spilling from my lips. And that terrifies me, because admitting that I love him means making myself vulnerable.

But that isn’t fair to him, is it? He’d been brave enough to admit his feelings. And what had I done? I’d fled. Admitting that I love him is proof that he makes me weak—that he could break me easily.

I know it’s my fear talking, and I have no problem admitting that I’m afraid, unlike admitting that I love him.

Fuck. Why are emotions so hard?

Sighing, I soap up my body and try to push all thoughts of love and Kai from my mind. My mind turns to the fact that I’m going to have to see the guys very soon. I almost don’t want to wash Kai from my skin, hoping that the other three would be able to scent him on me. At the same time, that’s gross, so I’m definitely cleaning myself up.

I hate the part of myself that wants to hurt them as they hurt me. I don’t want to be that person, but I don’t know how to make it stop. I don’t know how to get over the pain they made me feel—that I still feel. People say the pain will ease with time, but my pain hasn’t eased in the least. It could be because so little time has passed, or it could be because I still have to face them day after day. All I know is that it kills me every time I see one of them.

Dressing quickly, I decide to take the time to apply makeup—not allowing myself to think about why I want to look my best when they see me. I don’t want to dwell on that because I’m afraid of what the answer might be. But it’s also a bit of armor for me, making me feel stronger and better about myself.

I’m running behind as I hurry down to the training room. The door is closed, and because it’s soundproofed, I can’t be sure they’re on the other side, but part of me knows they are.

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