Simple Habits for Effective Parenting by Randall Schroeder

Author:Randall Schroeder
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: CrossLink Publishing
Published: 2021-05-18T00:00:00+00:00

Praise Publicly, Correct PrivatelyCertainly, the cliche “praise publicly, correct privately” has been around forever and is used both in the business world as well as in family relationships. No one wants to be corrected in public! The Bible encourages, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV).

Every person is sinfully flawed and that makes it so amazingly easy to be a faultfinder rather than a good finder. Finding fault with a child in public is certainly not a blessing. Although a challenge, praising is always the number one goal before correcting. Praise in both private and public but only correct in private!

Sadly, in public settings, I have witnessed parents joke about weaknesses by making fun of how their child pronounces words, laughs, runs, struggles in school, acts clumsy, etc.

Doubly devastating is making cruel corrections or discouraging comments to a child in front of others. A parent publicly making fun of or correcting a child absolutely demoralizes that child and destroys his or her emotional well-being. Parents who condemn or correct publicly are probably more viciously critical at home, producing within a child anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, and incredibly low self-esteem.

In today’s world, another big danger for correcting publicly is social media. NEVER shame or humiliate your child through a public social media forum.

In my counseling practice, I have seen a lot of heartache when a parent, grandparent, family member, or friend embarrasses a child on social media, whether intentionally or unintentionally. This is not just correcting publicly in front of a few people, but humiliating a child in various ways before countless people. In some cases, such emotional damage may last a lifetime. Definitely, be cautious with bragging through social media, BUT never share any negative information about your child.

In a public setting with others, do not correct table manners, poor grammar, behavioral flaws, etc. Wait until there is either an opportunity at home or take your child to a somewhat private area to make the correction. When you need to correct your child, ALWAYS do it in private!

Proverbs 3:27 provides great wisdom, “Do not hold back anything good from those who are entitled to it when you have the power to do so” (GW). That means complimenting and praising your child publicly! It means proudly introducing your child to others in public with a loving tone of voice that says my child is special, wonderful, and valued. Praising publicly and correcting privately will build a strong parent-child relationship, enhance your child’s self-worth, and communicate to your child that you are so incredibly grateful to be his or her parent.

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