Shock the Monkey by Neal Shusterman

Author:Neal Shusterman [Shusterman, Neal and Elfman, Eric]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2024-05-07T00:00:00+00:00

WARNING!

PROTECTIVE LENSES REQUIRED BEYOND THIS POINT.

VIOLATORS WILL BE PERSECUTED.

“I think they mean ‘prosecuted,’” said Sahara.

“Maybe we should take a different route,” suggested Ogden. “We don’t have protective lenses.”

“So?” said Sahara. “If we see anything too bright, we’ll cover our eyes and look away.”

“That would only work if light is the problem. For all we know, we might be about to encounter eyeball-eating creatures.”

That unpleasant thought gave Sahara pause. “Ogden, your mind really must be a very frightening place.”

“Yes,” Ogden admitted. “Which is why I’ve had to become so remarkably brave.”

Just then, the sound of engines drew their attention. They looked up to see two motorcycles descending into the ravine. Instead of wheels, vibrating magnets kept them hovering above the ground. Riding the two hoverbikes were figures in intimidating uniforms. It didn’t take a genius to figure out they were either military or police, or security guards wishing they were military or police.

“Hold your positions!” one of them said.

“Did you not read the sign?” said the other. “No one may enter the city of B’Light without protective goggles!”

They hopped off their hoverbikes and approached Sahara and Ogden. Although the guards weren’t human, they were humanoid enough; they each had two legs and two arms, although those appendages had more than the usual number of knees and elbows. Their mouths were way too large, and their eyes way too high on their foreheads—at least by Earth standards. But since they weren’t on Earth, it was Sahara and Ogden’s mouths that were too small, and eyes too low.

“What are you wretched creatures doing disobeying the law?” said the one on the left.

“Are you of subpar intelligence or are you scofflaws?” said the one on the right.

“Probably both,” said the left.

“We’re sorry,” said Sahara, trying as best as she could to be diplomatic. “We didn’t have protective goggles, so we thought—”

“Clearly you didn’t think!” interrupted the left officer.

“They’re obviously incapable of thought!” said the right.

“Look at you both!” said the left. “You’re scrawny and sickly in appearance.”

“And,” added the other, “you’re ugly and your parental units clothe you strangely!”

“Hey!” said Ogden, his temper beginning to flare. “I dress myself! My parental units haven’t picked out my clothes for years!”

“And that awful grating voice!” said the left officer.

“Yes, it’s like a mewling animal asking to be put out of its misery!” said the right.

Sahara held back any and all retorts, because in that moment she realized something that Ogden hadn’t. “Just tell us where we can get protective lenses,” she said.

The left officer reached into a small pack on his waist and pulled out two pairs of goggles. Or two triplets of goggles, as it were—because they were meant for beings with three eyes.

“All we currently have are Blearian tri-focals!” said the left officer. “But if you pull them tight, and let the central lens hang down over your miserable excuse for a nose, they should work.”

She grabbed the goggles and handed one set to Ogden. “This will solve everything,” she whispered to him.

“I really can’t stand looking at these two,” said the right officer.

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