Second Best, #1 by Noelle Adams

Author:Noelle Adams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: no strings attached
Publisher: Noelle Adams
Published: 2018-02-13T16:00:00+00:00

Six

TWO WEEKS LATER, ON our regular Wednesday evening, I was resolved not to go to the hotel to meet Sean.

I’d told him last time that I wasn’t going to show up, and I was determined to hold myself to that decision. I’d even taken the precaution that morning of wearing my most unattractive underwear, ones I’d never want Sean to see me in, to ensure I would stay strong.

It wasn’t as easy as it should have been.

I wanted to go.

No matter how obnoxious and territorial Sean had been that one time, I had many more nights of his being smart and funny and sensitive and sexy to compare it to. I had very tangible memories of how good we were together—in bed and out of it.

Those evenings with Sean had been the most enjoyable times of my weeks, and after two weeks had passed, I was ready for another night with him, even though my mind and my heart knew it wasn’t good for me.

He’d said he’d be at the hotel like normal.

He’d said I would change my mind.

I could see myself doing so. Even as I sat in my office—an hour after I normally left so I wouldn’t be tempted to make a detour to a certain hotel—I could visualize myself getting up, walking the block over to the hotel, riding up the elevator, knocking at the familiar door.

Sean would tilt the corner of his mouth up with that dry amusement. Then he’d let me in and maybe make a teasing joke about how he’d been right all along.

We’d pretend the whole thing had never happened.

He would make me feel so good.

My body craved him—like an addiction. It somehow knew that every two weeks it got very special treatment from Sean, and it was expecting the same thing to happen tonight. I’d only been seeing Sean for four months. All the rhythms and pulses of my body shouldn’t have transformed and shaped themselves around our nights together.

But that was how it felt.

I wanted to be in bed with him so much I could taste it.

I fought against the desire though. I wasn’t going to cave. This was better for me. Prioritizing love and a real relationship, not settling for empty sex and a man who could never be who I needed him to be.

I’d miss Sean for a while. I knew I would. But I’d get over it. And hopefully I’d have a relationship with John to fill the holes Sean had left—and eventually give me so much more.

Things had been going pretty well with John. We’d been getting together a couple of times a week after work for a drink or a quick meal. I knew it wasn’t really dating, but it felt like a step in the right direction.

And at least John had never acted like any part of me belonged to him.

These Wednesday nights are mine.

Tonight was one of those Wednesday nights that Sean believed were his.

He was going to be surprised and disappointed when I didn’t show up.

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