Sacred Strategies by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Unlimited Model

Building Community 2: Kiddush Matters

Following the logic of relational organizing means attending to individual relationships. For the IAF and Temple Israel, this means highly structured, if personal, conversations that often takes place within a larger campaign or other such framework. However, relational organizing can also happen in less structured environments—less structured, as opposed to unstructured. Insofar as we are talking about building communities, the congregation provides a framework for social interaction, but often that is not sufficient for building the relationships that fuel thriving communities.

For smaller congregations and minyanim, meaningful interaction is relatively simple because there are simply fewer people who tend to be more homogeneous. Long-time members of Temple Micah and Beth Jacob speak fondly and a little wistfully about the days when everyone knew everyone else. Now that these congregations have grown to about four- to five-hundred member units, the question arises as to how to manage demands in a less intimate setting. For Temple Micah, this question has arisen around the number of b’nei mitzvah. Rabbi Danny Zemel recalled how one couple whose attendance at services had been minimal floated the idea of starting a davening group in their home and wondered if it would have Danny’s blessing. He told them, “I can’t stop you from doing anything, . . . [but] I don’t think it would have my blessing. We’re a community here.”

Other congregations have faced similar issues, whether around b’nei mitzvah or in response to a desire for greater diversity in worship styles—as with Sharing Shabbat at Westchester Reform in New York or Tefillah 2000 at Congregation Beth Shalom in Kansas City. In some cases, such as that of Westchester Reform, the situation has not been resolved, and a split remains between the Sharing Shabbat crowd and the main sanctuary service. There are no easy solutions to these problems, but providing an opportunity for congregants to build relationships with one another is a popular strategy among visionary congregations.

Beth Shalom, Beth Jacob, and Temple Micah have addressed this problem by emphasizing the importance of kiddush as a time and place for the membership to gather, interact, eat together, and schmooze. Kiddush is where community happens. Andrea Kessler explained the importance of kiddush at Congregation Agudath Israel:

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