Sacred Privilege by Kay Warren

Author:Kay Warren
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REL012000
ISBN: 9781493406579
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2017-03-16T04:00:00+00:00

Even if you follow these practical guidelines for building healthy friendships, you need to accept the reality that a friend may unexpectedly wound you deeply. She could betray your confidence, gossip about you, take sides against you, treat you with disrespect, or quietly undermine you and then deny it to your face. I can’t say it won’t happen, but the benefits of intimacy are worth the risks of hurt.

One last thought. When talking to some of the other pastors’ wives at Saddleback, they asked, “Is it ever okay to say I can’t handle any more relationships?” Oh yes! It is completely okay to draw lines and boundaries around yourself. You don’t have an infinite capacity for relationships. When you’re juggling kids and all that entails, the maintenance of your home, perhaps a job, keeping the connection between you and your husband strong and vibrant, nurturing your alone time with Jesus, and ministering to hurting women in the church, you may not have time for lunch with the girls. It’s okay to say no to one more offer of friendship. Handle it with as much kindness as possible. I say things like, “That is so kind of you; I wish I could join you at ______, but I won’t be able to do it. It means the world to me that you would ask.” As a people pleaser, this has been a challenging skill for me to develop. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. But I have learned to say no with a smile, and I don’t feel the need to justify my reasons. I can read the sadness on the faces of some people—and I hate it—but I am merely human. My emotional and physical resources—and yours—are not limitless. We need to recognize the necessity of safeguarding our energy to prevent burnout.

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