Release Me by Melanie Walker

Author:Melanie Walker [Walker, Melanie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Melanie Walker
Published: 2015-07-06T04:00:00+00:00

You and me goin’ fishin’ in the dark

Lying on our backs and counting the stars

Where the cool grass grows

Baby get ready

Chapter Eleven

Cal

I can’t sleep as I lay here thinking of all the fuck ups in my life, that little boy of mine the only thing I have done right in recent years. Tayla is one thing I had right and I did everything wrong to destroy it. I can’t breathe thinking Sam is in bed with her tonight, touching her and telling her everything she ever wanted to hear from me.

I wanted to tell her that Axe is nothing but a bonus in my life. I wanted her to know I was coming for her before I even knew he existed. I get the urge to tell her to ask anyone that they can tell her how legit I am, but I can’t take the easy way out in this. I have to fight for her to see me and what I am offering is real and forever.

I hear Axe cough and I go to him, standing in his doorway watching him sleep. I am overwhelmed with this little dude. I want to fix him where he is broken and prove that he is safe. I watch him sleep in the corner of a bed that is plush with blankets and toys and all I see is how lost he is in it all, confused and curled in the corner alone. Always alone.

Tears break free as they always do when I watch him sleep. It is the only time he seems peaceful and content. He has so much fear in his eyes when he is alert and I vow as I do every night that I am going to take that fear and doubt away.

He rolls over and his little brown eyes open and focus on me in the doorway. I make my way in not wanting him scared for even a second. “Daddy you?” He says in the sweetest voice I have ever heard, but have never heard him call me daddy. It is my far the most integral moment of my life and I will never forget it.

I squat down so I can see him through the slats in the crib and we are eye level, my tears soaking my lashes as they fall down my cheeks. “Yeah Axe.” I say and choke on my sob. “I’m your daddy buddy.”

“Daddy you.” He says and rolls to get up and stand. His little hands holding the railing as he works to stand up. Once he is standing and stable, I watch him do another first and reach his arms out to me in want without my prompting him. This is the first time Axe has asked me to hold him.

I scoop him up into my arms and place my hand on the back of his head and rock from side to side trying to hide my tears from him. Even at his age, he will associate tears with sadness and I am anything but sad.

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