Red-Hot Romance Tips for Women by Bill Farrel

Author:Bill Farrel
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736951500
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers, Inc.

Nurturing

Becoming a wife who knows how to equip, nourish, foster, cultivate, promote, champion, support, boost, and uphold the best for her husband.

Often when I speak for a “Wow Wife” night, I share a story about a friend who spoke to my mentor, Sally Conway, about her mid-life marriage. Sally wisely said, “Look at your husband through the eyes of a younger woman. What traits, what attributes, what qualities would a younger woman find attractive? Go and find those things attractive too. Your husband doesn’t need a mother. He needs a girlfriend.” Shortly after one of those “Wow Wife” nights, I received this email:

Did you know if you spell wow backward you still get wow? If you hold wow up to the mirror you still read wow? If you read wow upside down you get mom? Don’t do that! Your husband doesn’t need a mom; he needs a wow wife.

My friend Jill Savage encourages moms who attend Hearts at Home events: “Wife, first; Mom, second.” It’s so easy to drift to the mommy side of the street once kids have entered the picture. For example, while writing this book our DVR system got a glitch, and Bill is always the hero who fixes it. One night I shared at dinner that it was acting up again. Bill said, “So, are you asking me to fix it now or just informing me?” I replied curtly, “I just said it wasn’t working” (in a motherly “if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times” tone). Instead, I should have said with a smile, “That would be amazing if you could fix it now. You’re always my hero.” “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ” (Ephesians 5:22 MSG).

There’s a joke that expresses this womanly dilemma of balancing wife vs. mom: “One of our presidents was walking with his wife, who sees one of her old boyfriends in a less-than-glorious occupation. The president remarks, “If you hadn’t married me, you might be married to that guy.” The first lady answers calmly, “If I had married him, he’d be president.”

How can you nurture your husband as his wife rather than as his mom?

A wife flirts. She has full confidence in his success.

A mom fine-tunes. She is fearful he might fail.

A wife asks. “What would you like me to do to help?”

A mom commands. “This is what needs to be done.”

A wife releases. She trusts things will be right.

A mom hovers. She worries things will not be right.

Marcia Ramsland, the “Organizing Pro” and author of Simplify Your Life, helps us recognize when we’ve crossed over the double-yellow line between wife and mom: “I simplify David’s life by telling him ‘reminders’…One morning when he was walking out the door for work, I spouted off three ‘reminders’…He said, ‘You’re on my runway.’ I immediately became aware that this wasn’t the best time to talk to him.”

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