Raw by Bella Mahaya Carter

Author:Bella Mahaya Carter
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: She Writes Press
Published: 2018-05-22T04:00:00+00:00

chapter 12: manifesting a heartfelt dream

“The best reason to do anything is for love,” Ron said. He and Mary were preparing us for our second-year projects, in which we were to fulfill a heartfelt dream. Mary defined greatness in terms of devotion, choosing work we loved, and making self-honoring choices. Ron added, “Most of us have been taught to do things for a variety of reasons, some of which are to get what you want, to make money, to defend your position, to look good, to impress people, and to get ahead. This last one is interesting. Think about it—whom or what are you supposed to be getting ahead of? Make your projects about you and what you love, and forget everything else.”

That weekend, in my trio groups, I kept saying, “I want my manuscripts to be in the world.” On Sunday afternoon, a classmate serving as my trio counselor said, “Your manuscripts are in the world. They exist.”

She was right. Much of the work I’d labored to produce over two decades wasn’t published, but it was in the world. With that awareness, I felt something shift inside me. It was true that I wanted to write, but it was also true that I had written. There was power in that. It affirmed my path. There was no doubt in my mind that my second-year project would involve bringing one of my manuscripts to completion. But which one? And how? I knew some things I could control, like buckling down and doing my writing, and rewriting, but other things I could not control, like publishing. I wanted to hold a completed book in my hands at the end of my second year of school, which was in nine months. That was my dream. But I wondered, Is this possible?

At the end of class Saturday evening, the song “When You Wish Upon a Star” streamed through the PA system. I’d never listened to the words before, but that night I took them in, especially the line “If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme.”

“Ask for what you want,” Ron said, before dismissing us. “And think big. Set a bedtime intention. Ask your dreams for guidance.”

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