Pure Eyes (): A Man's Guide to Sexual Integrity (XXXChurch.com Resource) by Gross Craig & Luff Steven

Author:Gross, Craig & Luff, Steven [Gross, Craig]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: ebook, book
ISBN: 9781441213044
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2010-08-31T16:00:00+00:00

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A Good Plan

Starving the Addiction

Robert Bly once remarked that growing up is making your body do what it does not want to do. Most addicts have not been able to develop normally, and so the normal maturation process starts. They start to do what they say they will. And they feel good about themselves. Up until this point, they have been filled with shame and have made decisions on the basis of what people will think of them. Now they are making decisions on the basis of what is right for them. This is the turning point.

Patrick Carnes, Facing the Shadow

We’ve gone over the basics of the soul-searching a man must do when struggling with an addiction to pornography. We’ve pointed out the importance of admitting to yourself and others that you have this struggle, committing yourself to overcoming it, and understanding the addiction’s nature. We’ve even defined the boundaries and ultimate destination for your sexuality: sex and all sexual activity are to exist only within marriage and between the partners of that marriage. Period.

Of course achieving this end by simply willing it, or even by fervent prayer, can be agonizing at best and futile at worst. Instead of trying to go from point A to point Z without any indication of how to pass through all the points in between (which will undoubtedly cause confusion and relapse), you need a measured, clear course of action.

So let’s outline the points you’ll need to travel through to go from wanting to stop looking at pornography to actually stopping. We call this process “starving the addiction” because, ultimately, our goal is to quite literally starve it out of our brains.

As we saw in chapter 3, looking at porn builds new neurological pathways in your brain. These pathways cause you to crave, seek, and use more pornography and at increasingly rapid rates.

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We call this process

“starving the

addiction.”

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Now it’s time to squelch those pathways, choke them off from existence. Your goal is not only to stop using pornography but also to allow your brain to rebuild new, healthier neurological pathways that urge you to seek and enjoy healthy things, such as good friends, family, and your God-given purpose.

This won’t be easy at first. It may be the most challenging thing you’ve undertaken in your life, but as more time passes and more progress is made, the power of this demon will diminish. In addition to this freedom, the pride, wonder, and fulfillment of a healthy sexuality will make your days bright and your evenings full of hope.

Please understand that this will be an ongoing process and it isn’t going to be easy. The goal here isn’t perfection or finding absolutes – it is discovering all of the little choices you make that lead to destruction and then learning to make choices that lead to health and victory.

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