Please, Sorry, Thanks by Mark Batterson

Author:Mark Batterson [Batterson, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2023-04-04T00:00:00+00:00

Ask echo questions that get people to say something more than one time, more than one way.

Ask curveball questions that change the frame of reference.[6]

Along with asking questions, you’ve got to get vulnerable. Here’s a good rule of thumb: Before you confront someone else’s sin, confess your own. In the words of Tommy Boy, “Let me tell you why I suck.”[7] You’ve got to level the playing field. One more word of advice? Compliment before you criticize! According to the Losada ratio, we need 2.9 compliments for every criticism.[8] You’ve got to catch people doing things right.

I subscribe to a style of leadership called appreciative inquiry. It’s a strengths-based approach to change. Simply put, celebrate what you want to see more of. When you consistently compliment what people do right, it gives you ground for confronting them when they do something wrong. The letters to the seven churches in Revelation contain pointed rebukes, but they start with affirmation. That sequence is not insignificant.

When we began building out a city block as a mixed-use marketplace called the Capital Turnaround, we hired a consultant who took us through an exercise called empathy mapping. It’s the first step in a human-centered design process that helps identify pain points and gain points. An empathy map asks the following questions:

What do they think?

What do they feel?

What do they see?

What do they hear?

What do they say?

What do they do?

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