Parenting the Addicted Teen by Barbara Krovitz-Neren

Author:Barbara Krovitz-Neren
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Central Recovery Press, LLC
Published: 2017-07-17T04:00:00+00:00

The blame is placed on everyone else and on each other, instead of looking at oneself and looking at what one could do to improve one’s parenting and take charge differently.

Parents at this stage don’t recognize how addiction is affecting their parenting and their child. When teenagers or young adults face challenges in their own lives, their troubles and behaviors are written off as typical for their age and merely indicative of a child trying to find his or her way in the world. However, as concerns for the child’s health and safety begin to grow, parents at last begin to enter the second stage.

Stage Two: Thinking About the Problems but Feeling Unable to Take Action to Make Changes at Home

Parents at this stage are beginning to see more of reality, but they keep most of the information in their heads. They aren’t ready to take action, and are still in denial about the fact that their child needs help. Parents increasingly think about the challenges they face in their family, but they’re unable to take action. Anxieties are not expressed outwardly, but kept hidden inside bodies that ache with fear and worry. Many parents at this stage focus on what they observe with their children as they witness them disappearing, emotionally and physically, from their family. Tensions mount and begin to take a toll on everyone. Parents are not yet seeking help and are at a loss as to what they can do.

I’ve heard many parents say that they knew something was going on for a long time with their children and that they suspected drug abuse of some kind, but felt unable to do anything. As one parent put it, “I was in so much denial about Jon’s drug usage. When money was missing from my wallet for the tenth time, I finally had a wake-up call. I needed to stop pretending that everything would be okay in time.” When the signs become too hard to ignore and parents reach the point of being “sick and tired of being sick and tired,” they are ready to move on to the next stage.

Stage Three: Seeking Help and Information Through Books, Online Searches, Interventions, Therapy, and Friends

Parents at this stage are actively looking for help. Most teenagers and young adults don’t go into treatment of their own volition, and parents at this point are willing to do almost anything to step forward and interrupt the addiction. They are now able to choose to receive help because they see their family disintegrating. Feeling isolated and ashamed of what is taking place at home is replaced with a growing understanding of addiction as a universal experience. Parents now see that they aren’t alone and that many other families have similar issues. Still, parents feel powerless and in need of professional help. Once they gather enough empowering information and professional guidance, they become open to making decisions that recognize addiction as a family disease. Eventually parents take action to address the addiction and the role their family plays in it.

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