Overdue Apologies by Nakada Noriko

Author:Nakada, Noriko
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-09-21T00:00:00+00:00

A few weeks later, Travis Smith asks me out. He's an eighth grader, and he's on Mitch's baseball team. He has red hair and freckles, and I convince myself he's cute. I mostly go out with him because the clock is ticking and everyone knows eighth grade boys expect to kiss.

Travis comes over to hang out with Mitch after school, and Kim comes over too. Mom has a "no friends in the house unless parents are home" rule so we have to find something to do outside. Mitch and Travis play catch in the backyard while Kim and I sit on the front steps. Laura comes home, parks, and heads inside. She leaves the car unlocked, and the wind is picking up, so Kim and I sit in the warm bucket seats of my sister's Datsun 210.

"Want me to go get Travis?" Kim asks as she plays with a window scraper, an Amy Grant tape, and a handful of Taco Bell hot sauce packets from the glove compartment.

I fidget with the gearshift. "Sure, I guess."

"I'm going to tell him to kiss you."

The sun shines through the windows heating the car. My palms are dry, and my breath is minty from my gum. “No,” I protest half-heartedly, but I know I need to do this. I'm ready but nervous.

Kim flings the door open, and as I wait I know this could be my moment, my first real kiss; the one I'll remember for the rest of my life. The car windows are dusty and Laura's car always smells like syrup. Travis comes around the corner, and I look over my shoulder to make sure Mom isn't pulling up. Travis climbs in on the passenger side, and even though we're going out we've hardly talked.

"Hey," he says. His voice is deep, and I remember he's a bass in choir.

I smile and look up at him. He reaches out for my hand. Thank God it's not sweaty.

He pulls me toward him. I lean over the stiff parking brake and see his freckled face coming toward mine. I close my eyes like I'm supposed to, and he is there, hot breath and lips on mine. But his lips are too wet, and suddenly his tongue is in my mouth, and I can hardly breath. It feels so strange and wet and slimy compared to when I practiced on my arm.

I let him kiss me for a few seconds and then push his tongue out of my mouth because it's moving too fast. His hands grip my shoulders tight and my heart pounds. I don't know if it's the heat of passion or the sun shining through the car windows making me sweat. All I smell is burnt, dusty syrup and Travis is still there, right in my face.

I have to get out of that car. I pull away, wipe my spitty mouth on the sleeve of my sweatshirt, and bolt out of the car slamming the door behind me.

Kim and Mitch are in the back yard shooting hoops.

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