Opening Doors by Reggie Nelson

Author:Reggie Nelson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blink Publishing

CHAPTER 14

SELF-DOUBT

M

y first day of university, 22 September 2014.

It was my second time ever stepping into a university, the first being to enrol. It was all so new. I didn’t know anyone there and it was the start of a very long three-year journey. My first day consisted of various introductory lectures and ended with a mathematics test which was to determine which maths set we would be in. Maths test? I was a little confused. I mean, how much maths must this degree have for us to be put into various sets?

So, I did the test and ended up being in the middle set. I came to realise that this degree was very mathematics-heavy! Every element of my studies had some sort of maths involved. I hadn’t done maths since my GCSEs and had never studied economics before; I questioned myself a lot and doubted what I’d got myself into. I wasn’t the worst at maths, but it was something that I would try to avoid if possible. Now I was studying a degree that had tons of letters, equations and various mathematical models. When I first heard the word ‘econometrics’ – which is part of mathematical statistics – it sent shivers down my spine.

About three months into my degree, I had my first class test, which would determine 25 per cent of my final first-year grade for one of my modules. University was the first time that I focused totally on my studies. There were no distractions in the shape of football, or travelling to various places that consumed my energy, it was just university. For that reason, I was able to hit the books 100 per cent. I didn’t even try out for the university football team. I tried to stay far away from football and sport and focus solely on this degree.

When the class test was announced, I went away to revise, prepare and ensure that I got a good grade. Every day I would revise for this test, and try to understand the equations, diagrams and the literature behind the subject. On the day of the class test, I was fairly confident. I didn’t have any major doubts and thought I knew the content relatively well. So I did the test and left the class to go home – I was confident.

A few weeks later, we were called into our lecturer’s office to collect our grades for the test. He handed us the exam paper with our mark circled in red on the front page. I walked to his office, said my surname and he flicked through the papers to find my name. I could see some of the marks that others had scored as he was flicking through the pile. Some had achieved within the 70 per cent bracket, others the 60 per cent bracket. I rarely saw any lower than that, which instilled even more confidence in me that I would get at least between 60 and 70 per cent (equivalent to an A or B).

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