On the Edge of Shattered by Kimberly Kearns

Author:Kimberly Kearns
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: addiction recovery, alcohol abuse, addiction and recovery memoir, sobriety diaries, clean and sober, alcoholism, self-help abuse, being sober, alcoholism recovery, blackout drunk, women's biographies
Publisher: Glass Spider Publishing
Published: 2022-11-01T00:00:00+00:00

PART II

A Broken Home (2001): Eighteen Years Old - Dishonesty starts casually. It often begins as a small omission of fact, or a lack of specificity in the details that allows one to get away with not telling the truth. But it grows, swelling and spreading like an infection. The roots originate from the lie you first tell yourself. In the end, though, it’s almost impossible to deceive your subconscious mind. The truth always prevails. Most secrets never stay buried.

Shortly after Evan left Connecticut and went back to his home to Ohio, I confronted Dad about Richie and asked him if there was anything special about his relationship with the man he called his roommate. I couldn’t stop wondering what Dad was hiding.

I’d been home from Colby for only a few weeks, and nothing felt right. I couldn’t stop thinking about who my father was. Everything I knew about him up to this point in my life felt like a lie. I felt lost, left alone in the dark.

Lana and Jamie didn’t have any answers either. Whenever I asked them what they thought of the situation, they shrugged their shoulders and avoided the conversation. They were even more uncomfortable discussing the topic than me. I, on the other hand, was determined to try to understand it all. I didn’t dare ask Mom anything in her fragile state, so I felt it was my job to approach Dad.

One evening in June, my sisters and I sat on the plush, velvety couch across from Dad and Richie in the library at the yacht club before dinner. We sipped martinis, waiting for our reservation. The room was empty except for the five of us and the rows of antique books on the walls. Richie sat perched in a tall wingback chair next to Dad, and my sisters and I were crammed together on a loveseat. We all looked out at the setting sun, the sky a swirl of pink and orange beyond Greenwich Harbor.

“Is there anything you want to tell us, Dad?” I asked casually.

“What do you mean, dear?” Dad replied.

“What exactly is going on between you and Richie?” I continued. Everyone fell silent, my sisters staring into their drinks. Richie stood abruptly and left the room.

“Excuse me?” Dad asked.

“We want to know,” I said, determined to get some answers. The alcohol in my hand fueled my words and gave me courage. Jamie and Lana sat still beside me.

“That is absolutely none of your business!” Dad roared. He had only raised his voice at me a handful of times in my life. He stormed out of the library after Richie, and I was left feeling completely ashamed and abandoned. Jamie and Lana were mad at me for confronting him.

“Why would you bring that up before dinner?” Lana said. “That was so awkward.”

“Things were okay the way they were. Just let it go,” Jamie added.

My entire family wanted to pretend life was fine and that everything was normal, when in reality there was nothing normal about the situation.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.