Occupational Hazards by Stephen Brown

Author:Stephen Brown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Oberon Books

Act Two

MARMALADE

RORY ’s office.

The next day.

A moment alone, a moment to breathe.

RORY smiles at the audience.

RORY : (Out.) What was that? Politics or theatre?

The COLONEL breezes in with JT.

COLONEL : Good Morning Rory.

RORY : Morning.

COLONEL : Got the bastards. Whole gang by the look of it. Had a couple of tonnes of copper wire under a tarp.

RORY : (To the COLONEL.) So Seyyed Hassan was helpful in finding them?

COLONEL : Yes, he was.

Enter AHMED carrying a plate of oatcakes with marmalade on them.

AHMED : Rory, Colonel, I thought, as today is our first day of interviews for the Council, and as we are celebrating that we are not all dead, we should have some of the special top quality marmalade kindly sent by Mrs Stewart. On the oatcakes also the gift of Mrs Stewart.

JT hands RORY a short (10-20cm) length of copper wire.

JT : Thought you’d like a souvenir sir. Spoils of war.

RORY : I’ll add it to my collection.

JT : If we can just get that bloody turbine then we can really get the bloody lights on. Sir.

COLONEL makes to leave. Stops.

COLONEL : Your summit meeting last night– whatever you called it – Sheikh of Sheikhs! That was a bloody good show. I didn’t believe you could do it.

RORY : You made that very clear, Colonel.

COLONEL : Well, we learn.

RORY : Are we ready to go?

AHMED : There are people waiting to get into the waiting room for the waiting room.

COLONEL : Everyone wants to be on your Council!

COLONEL and JT breeze out.

RORY : In the meeting, when you calmed the room –

AHMED : I told you: I don’t like arguing!

RORY : No but why the prayer? Why did you use the prayer?

AHMED : I wanted to say I too am a Muslim. This also is Islam.

RORY : You saved us.

AHMED : It was nothing compared to your fine words. ‘The Outlaw Days are passing.’ I mean: what was that?

RORY : I don’t know I was – improvising –

AHMED : It was hilarious.

RORY : I was bored. Back in Scotland, before I came here. Worse than bored. I was numb. Not fully alive.

AHMED : Of course! And now you have the ‘true joy’. (Beat.) You were great. In the meeting.

RORY : Thank you.

AHMED does not leave.

RORY : Ahmed, would you like an oatcake?

AHMED : Well…

AHMED takes an oatcake.

Enter KARIM –

KARIM : I said I would be the first and here I am.

AHMED gives a pained smile.

RORY : (Out.) Interview Number One –

KARIM : You will announce the Council in six weeks?

RORY : The plan hasn’t changed Karim. Forty councillors –

KARIM : And then these forty will elect the Governor.

RORY : That’s right. Marmalade, Karim? It’s a British delicacy.

KARIM : This is full of sugar.

KARIM brings out a sheet of paper with a long list of names on it on both sides.

KARIM : I need tell you nothing more about myself. But I have brought you a list of good men from the tribes.

RORY : This is a long list.

KARIM : These are important tribes.

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