Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig

Author:Matt Haig
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Canongate Books

Glow

I USED TO be obsessed with glowing windows and streetlamps when I was a kid. From the back of the car I would stare out and look at windows glowing pink through red curtains, like ET’s chest, and wonder about the life going on inside. There is something about the glow of artificial light that I find mesmerising. When I was eight years old – in 1983 – my parents had an old AA travel guide called Discover America and it had a double image of the Las Vegas Strip as seen at night. ‘I want to go there,’ I announced to my mum, to her distaste. She never took me.

‘It’s late,’ I say to Andrea.

We read a little, then switch the lights off, always later than we should. Every time, I imagine the square light of our window turning black, to anyone walking by outside.

‘Night,’ Andrea says.

‘Night.’

It will be some time after midnight and the room will be dark except for the glow of a phone.

‘Matt, are you going to go to sleep?’

‘I tried. My mind’s racing.’

‘You should put the phone down.’

‘It’s just my tinnitus is bad. This distracts me.’

‘Well, it’s stopping me going to sleep.’

‘Okay, sorry. I’m putting the phone down.’

‘You know what’ll happen if you have too many bad nights.’

‘I know. Night . . .’

And I close my eyes, and my mind still races with a thousand worries, attracting attention like illuminated signs in Vegas, tainting my dreams and waiting to dissolve in daylight.

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