No Problem by Robert J. Wicks

Author:Robert J. Wicks [Wicks, Robert J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ave Maria Press
Published: 2014-03-23T23:00:00+00:00

13.

Welcome the Softening Place of Humor

In Penelope Rowlands’s edited work Paris Was Ours, the contributors describe the experiences both wondrous and challenging, uplifting and demeaning, that they encountered as writers from other countries living in France. One of them, Natasha Fraser-Cavassoni, said that learning to adjust to acerbic, possibly stinging humor was one of the travails she had to endure. In one instance, she asked a middle-aged man for directions, and the response was, “Mademoiselle, do I look like a map?”

People who have a good sense of humor tend to be nondefensive and open to feedback. I remember once sharing with a priest, who eventually became a bishop, that the vocations office that I was involved with at the time was going to send him a seminarian for pastoral supervision. He said to me, “Is there a special reason you are sending him to me?” In response, I teased, “Well, he is very stubborn, but you are even more stubborn, so I thought it would work out well.” He smiled broadly and exclaimed, “Well, how did you ever know that about me? I thought I kept it a secret!” And we both laughed.

Michael Mott, in his book The Seven Mountains of Thomas Merton, pointed out how this well-known contemplative and writer was able to laugh at himself more and more as he matured. We see this capacity in people we admire. Hopefully, we too can laugh at ourselves. When we cannot, we suffer, but so do those around us.

When we can’t laugh at ourselves and our foibles, it is usually part of a greater wall of defensiveness. One top American political leader, known for his sarcasm and belittling comments about others who disagreed with him, was on a national morning show as part of a publicity campaign for his recently published book. When asked what mistakes he had made while in office, he brushed the question aside, saying that if he answered, some people would only pounce on it as a way of fostering their own agendas. When people at the top of government can’t admit to errors, it is sad. As we seek to find God and ourselves more deeply, the inability to laugh at ourselves is not only sad—it may turn out to be sinful. Given our goal, I am not sure which is worse.

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