Needing to Know for Sure by Martin N. Seif

Author:Martin N. Seif
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: fear of uncertainty;compulsive checking;reassurance seeking;cognitive behavioral therapy;cbt;self doubt
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2019-11-04T16:50:32+00:00

What It Looks Like

Akira is so stuck in the trap that he cannot move at all.

“I can’t do anything on my own.”

Akira, thirty-eight, works in sales. Although he makes a decent living, he sees himself as unsuccessful. He freezes whenever he needs to do something on his own. Akira becomes terrified that he will say the wrong thing or make a mistake that will cost him business. His mind goes blank, he withdraws, and he looks for others to give him clues that he is okay. He checks every move with his supervisor and coworkers, who are getting tired of his ongoing “Are you sure this is okay?” questions. He constantly goes to voluntary training sessions. But none of these courses have given him the confidence to implement any new sales initiatives. He is afraid to alienate the coworkers with whom he continually checks his work, so he doesn’t protest when he is given “bottom of the barrel” assignments. Because he does not trust himself without immediate positive feedback, he has stopped making sales calls and resorted to emails, social media, and trying to partner up with other sales reps.

Notice that… Akira believes his problem is lack of confidence, but it is really an intolerance for uncertainty. All that checking, and how he avoids feeling anxious by seeking reassurance, ends up backfiring.

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