Naked and Not Ashamed by T. D. Jakes

Author:T. D. Jakes [Jakes, T.D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Destiny Image, Inc.

CHAPTER 7

SURVIVE THE CRASH OF RELATIONSHIPS

There is a deep-seated need in all of us to sense purpose—even out of calamity. Out of this thirst for meaning is born the simplistic yet crucial prayer, “Why?” Most of us have faced tense moments where this urgent prayer has exploded from our lips. It is a cry for purpose, not solutions. It suggests that if we can only find meaning to the madness, then the strength to endure would quickly rise up in us.

Many times, we want to know and understand. It is part of our superior creative ability. It separates us from lower forms of life that tend to accept events as they come. There is within us this insatiable need to understand. On the other hand, we seem to draw some degree of solace from our very quest to know why. No matter how painful the quest, we will still search through the rubbish of broken dreams, broken promises, and twisted childhood issues looking for clues.

We ambitiously pursue these clues because we believe there is a reward for the discovery. This emotional autopsy often takes us through the bowels of human attitudes and dysfunctional behavior. We don’t have to necessarily erase the cause of our pain; we mainly just want to find some reason or justification for the pain and discomfort.

And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day (Genesis 32:24).

Like Jacob, all of us know what it means to be left alone. Whether through death, desertion, or even disagreement, we have all been left alone at times. We are sometimes disillusioned when we find out how easily people will leave us. Generally they leave us when we think that we need them. For some strange reason, human beings love to clamor around the successful more than around the struggling. They love the accomplished, but they flee the aspiring.

This may be difficult, but it is all part of God’s “scholastic- achievement program” for strong believers. He is determined to strip us of our strong tendency to be dependent on others, thereby teaching us self-reliance and God-reliance. Thus the struggle truly begins not when men surround us, but rather when they forsake us. It is then that we begin to discover our own identity and self-worth!

It is unrealistic to expect no pain when there is disappointment or rejection. No matter how spiritual we may be, when covenants are broken and trust is betrayed, even the most stoic person will wince at the pain!

WE NEED FEELINGS

We went through a phase once when we thought real faith meant having no feelings. Now I believe that life without feelings is like a riverbed without water. The water is what makes the river a place of activity and life. You don’t want to destroy the water, but you do need to control it. Feelings that are out of control are like the floodwaters of a river. The gushing currents of boisterous waters over their banks can bring death and destruction.

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