My Story of Us by Smartypants Romance

Author:Smartypants Romance [Brinkley, Chris]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Smartypants Romance

Part 14

June 30th

Thank you. Thank for being you and being so good to me. It has been a rough couple of days. Do you remember our conversation about being able to lean on each other when the other needs someone to lean on? Well, you’ve been a mountain for me. I know that it probably feels like I’ve pushed you away and haven’t wanted you around, but I’ve needed you more than you will ever know. The moments with you have been my sanity, my peace. Thank you for being strong and sweet. For being you.

The call came at midnight. Woke me up from a hard sleep. At first, I thought it might be you, that you needed something. Then, when I didn’t recognize the phone number, I thought about not answering. I only answered because I thought maybe you were on someone else’s phone. Maybe something had happened. I couldn’t not answer.

It was the hospital in my hometown. Dad had a stroke. They found him alone in his yard. No one knew how long he’d been lying there. My number was in his wallet. He was unconscious.

The first thing I thought of when I got the call was that it was pathetic that he’d been found alone in his yard. Like he was too inadequate to have a stroke around people, or at least in the damn house. I feel guilty about having that thought. Ashamed. But it’s complicated. My dad is complicated. Our relationship is complicated.

I’ve tried to explain it all to you while also sparing you the details. My scars. His scars. I’m not one of those people who puts it all out there for everyone to see. And because of that, it’s hard to know when it’s okay to show someone who we truly are. It’s not that I don’t trust you; I trust you more than anyone. It’s just that I simply don’t know how. I don’t know how to truly let my guard down and let you see the scars I have somehow successfully hidden from the rest of the world—and from myself. I don’t want to see them. Why would I want to show them to you?

I’ll try to explain on paper what I can’t seem to say to you in person. I’m taking off work for a few days and going to see him. I know he needs me. And as much as I know that you want to go with me and be supportive, I’m not ready for that. Please trust me when I say it has nothing to do with you. I don’t know what I’ll find. His life has been an unpredictable roller coaster. This is just another part of the ride.

I’ll start with this: he’s an alcoholic. He’ll tell you he’s an alcoholic. He’s been to AA and rehab and therapy and done all the things you do to fix an alcoholic. But he can’t be fixed. And I love him. I still love him. I have tried to fix him, but he can’t be fixed.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.