Mum's Big Break by Louise Emma Clarke

Author:Louise Emma Clarke [Clarke, Louise Emma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781789541915
Publisher: Head of Zeus

ELEVEN

Followers – 99,893

Weeks pregnant – 31

Months pregnant – 6

Social media mistakes – 1

Free holidays – 2

Contracts with top agent – 1

TV documentary shortlists – 1

Dear Bella and Bump,

I don’t like that bit of pregnancy where your bump looks like you need a big poo. People aren’t really sure what to say at that point, so you catch their eyes moving south and their speech starts to stutter as they wonder whether you are nestling a baby in there or double portions of a Sunday roast.

When I had my twelve-week scan with you, Bella, I knew I needed to tell everyone at work first, given I was going to be deserting them six months later to give birth to you. I was worried about that, as despite knowing it was absolutely my right to become a mother, I still felt like I was letting them down. They said all the right things, congratulating me and telling me to stop being so silly when I apologised. They had to do all that, of course, but I think they meant it. I’m sure they meant it.

And when that was ticked off the list, I did the thing that I was most excited about, which was telling the rest of the world. I decided to make a big announcement via social media, with three pairs of shoes lined up on the step to our front door; Daddy’s black leather work shoes (obviously), my tallest high heels (hilarious in hindsight, as I haven’t worn them a single time since), and a tiny pair of knitted yellow booties I found in a gift shop on my lunchbreak one day (which I did put on your feet when you were a small baby, but which fell off approximately ten seconds later).

When I posted that photo and the words ‘Team Holmes – April 2017’ comments starting rolling in instantly: ‘Congratulations!! Best time of your life coming up right now!’ ‘OMG I KNEW IT! Congratulations you two!’ ‘Honeymoon baby! Wonderful news!’, ‘Best news ever! You are going to be such cute parents!’

I read every one of those comments ten times over and I felt elated afterwards, as if I was walking on air. But when the comments tailed off and messages stopped pinging on my phone, I just felt a bit, well, flat I suppose.

With my second pregnancy, I wanted to do things differently. I’d been for the scan and was a proud owner of the ‘does she need a poo?’ paunch. With no colleagues to break the news to this time round, it was time to tell everyone else. But I didn’t want to do it in one fell swoop on social media. My social media might have grown since becoming a mother, but my social circle of close friends had narrowed – and I didn’t want them to find out via a quick post on Facebook. So I started arranging coffees, making phone calls and sending long emails. For weeks, I got to hear squeals of excitement, see real smiles, and read long replies to congratulate me.

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