Misconception by Paul & Shannon Morell

Author:Paul & Shannon Morell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: simon & schuster
Published: 2010-12-28T05:00:00+00:00

I was eating lunch in my classroom when Abigail, one of my coworkers, popped in. She sat down at a desk and began to eat her lunch. “Guess what?” she said. “I have some news.”

I looked up, suspecting what I was about to hear.

She must have seen the suspicion in my eyes, because she laughed. “That’s right, I’m pregnant.”

I gave her a sincere smile. “Really! Well, congratulations. When are you due?”

“November 6, I think.”

“That’s really great.” I kept my face calm, but behind the mask I was playing mental Ping-Pong. Should I tell her my news? Yes or no? I hadn’t planned on sharing the announcement with anyone else, but suddenly I had to spill the beans.

“Guess what? I’m pregnant too.”

“No way!” Her eyes glowed. “Congratulations. When are you due?”

“October 29.”

“Wow—we’re going to have our babies at practically the same time.”

“Yes … but I’m not having our baby.”

Her smile twisted. “What do you mean?”

I took a deep breath and launched into my explanation. Few people knew that Megan and Ellie had been conceived through in vitro, so first I had to explain that, and then tell her about the frozen embryos, and describe how we’d been anxious to try for one last pregnancy … until we learned that our embryos had been placed inside another woman’s uterus.

“And she’s pregnant,” I finished.

Abbey stared at me, her mouth open. “I can’t believe it.”

“I couldn’t either—at first.”

I now had two friends who knew my secret. Two friends, one husband, one lawyer, and one grandma—who was now gone. I’d managed to hide the truth from everyone else.

Another day I was standing in the hallway when another teacher came by and mentioned that I looked stressed. I wanted to tell her I had a good reason to be stressed, but instead I talked about the frustration of preparing our income taxes.

One evening, in an effort to work through my feelings with God, I wrote in my journal:

Dear God:

I have many questions only you can answer.

Could I not have another successful pregnancy? What do you want us to learn from this? I have a lot of questions. Have you been giving me answers? Am I not listening? Is there something else you want to tell me? You’ve got my attention. What is it I’m supposed to do?

This experience has filled me with every possible emotion.

You’ve got my attention, so now what? What’s the next step in this journey? You’ve got a plan, I know it.

Talk to me. I’m listening.

Shannon

I think I hid my extra load pretty well, because no one else seemed to notice. Their unawareness of our situation kept them from asking questions and extending sympathy, and in our situation, at least, their ignorance resulted in our bliss. We found it easier to behave normally when no one knew our secret.

After learning about Abigail’s pregnancy, I knew she would be a daily reminder that another woman was pregnant with my child. She was about a week behind the woman carrying our baby, and we were about the same height.

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