Messy Beautiful Love by Darlene Schacht

Author:Darlene Schacht
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2014-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

Dear Holding My Tongue,

Thank you for your letter. I’m so blessed that you are seeking God’s way for your marriage. Communication is important to both men and women. We don’t always see it that way because men communicate differently. Many women say that their husbands won’t talk to them, but if you stop to watch the way he expresses himself, after a while you’ll become more familiar with his method of communication.

It could be any one of several reasons why your husband doesn’t tend to duties around the house. I could guess and guess again, but without knowing him and your particular situation I would probably be off the mark.

So the best thing that I can suggest is to keep those lines of communication open. If it’s a matter of resentment, overwork, a sense of failure, stress, or distraction, he might finally come out and say it but not until he trusts you deeply with his heart.

You said, “Do I have a voice in this marriage, or am I supposed to be quiet and let him live the way he wants to live?” My answer would be to approach him with your requests but do so in love.

The Bible warns women about nagging, which tells us that this isn’t anything new. Women have been nagging their husbands for thousands of years, but through the Word, God shows us that there is a better way to communicate. We should approach our husbands with love and humility—a hope that holds no expectation. And above all, be kind, tenderhearted, and willing to forgive. That’s how you’ll win his heart.

Looking to the Bible, we see a prime example in Esther, who approached the king (her husband) with honor and respect. She made her petition known and left it in his hands to make the decision.

Another example is Jesus, who lived in submission to the Father in heaven. Praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, He said, “Not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42).

Don’t misunderstand the meaning of biblical submission. We do have a voice and an opinion. If we stifle our pain and our hurt we may grow to resent the men we once loved. When bitterness sets in, it takes root and will grow over time unless it is removed and replaced with something better. Be encouraged to share your thoughts, but hold back on the resentment if things don’t go your way. Don’t forget that God is in control and can change things at any time. Just do your part, and let God handle the rest.

Blessings,

Darlene

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