Mere Sexuality: Rediscovering the Christian Vision of Sexuality by Wilson Todd A. & Wilson Todd A

Author:Wilson, Todd A. & Wilson, Todd A.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2017-10-02T16:00:00+00:00

Here’s how a marital lease could work: Two people commit themselves to marriage for a period of years—one year, five years, 10 years, whatever term suits them. The marital lease could be renewed at the end of the term however many times a couple likes. It could end up lasting a lifetime if the relationship is good and worth continuing. But if the relationship is bad, the couple could go their separate ways at the end of the term. The messiness of divorce is avoided and the end can be as simple as vacating a rental unit.11

The rejection of permanence is also the reason we’ve seen a huge rise in the rate of cohabitation. Today 60 percent of first-time marriages begin with cohabitation, up from almost 0 percent fifty years ago. Many couples are afraid of getting “stuck” in a bad relationship or in the “wrong” relationship, so they try it out before committing. Sadly and ironically, this solution has the effect of further undermining their ability to enjoy a permanent, lasting marriage commitment. “Sexuality is a little like a post-it note,” explains Sam Allberry. “And the more that union is forged and then broken, the more our capacity for deep and abiding unity is diminished.”12 So the proposed solution only makes the problem worse.13 This is because cohabitating attempts a comprehensive union while removing an essential characteristic—permanence. This only serves to undermine the couple’s ability to live together “till death do us part.”

I fondly remember officiating the wedding of my cousin Anne to her fiancé Jason, and for me the most powerful moment in the service was the exchange of vows. What the bride and groom do in that moment forges the marriage covenant, as they give themselves to each other through publicly declared promises: “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.” They aren’t promising to always feel a certain way, but to always remain faithful and to endure. Permanence is an essential feature of this one-flesh union. Without it, you don’t have a biblical marriage.

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