Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences by Bill Farrel & Pam Farrel

Author:Bill Farrel & Pam Farrel [Farrel, Bill & Farrel, Pam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self Help, Psychology
ISBN: 9780736919616
Google: AaSsngEACAAJ
Barnesnoble:
Goodreads: 384719
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Published: 2001-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Anticipate future changes. The birth of a child, job transitions, teen children, midlife emotional adjustments, and the empty nest are just a few changes that the average couple will experience. If you anticipate change, and even embrace it as it comes knocking on your door, you will find change to be a catalyst for growth in your marriage. It’s like marrying a new spouse every few years—only this one keeps his or her same name. Just like each night brings a new dream, so each change brings the potential for a new dream that can bring vitality and maturity to your love relationship.

What can a woman do to help her husband be effective in his career pursuits? Keep it simple! When your husband feels he has the freedom to focus on work he gains confidence about his ability to succeed. When your husband senses that his work is part of the family’s schedule rather than an interruption to it, his desire to help shape the kids’ character will grow. When you say you are proud of him for the work he does, he leaves for work the next morning with renewed motivation. It sounds silly, but the key to helping your husband is to give him your permission to succeed on his career path.

When Pam and I moved to the San Diego area so I could begin my career as a senior pastor, I was very excited. I was convinced God had called me to preach and to minister to families. It was evident that he had led us to a suburb north of downtown, and it was only seven miles from the beach. I hit the pavement running, convinced that this church would grow into a win-win situation for the congregation and my family. It required a pretty intense focus on my part to learn the current processes of this church and diagnose the changes that needed to be made. I assumed that Pam was right behind me in step with the vision.

She was just as committed as I was to the success of our new pursuit, but she was facing different pressures. She was the primary caretaker of our two preschool boys, and we were living in a two-bedroom apartment with a very awkward rule. The rule was that children were not allowed to play on the sidewalk, on the grass, or in the common areas of the apartment complex. The only place kids were allowed to play was in the playground, which was on the other side of the complex.

Now, Pam is usually a very positive individual, but the stress of dealing with two toddlers in a “no playing zone” was more than she could handle. A depression blindsided her and changed her normally supportive position. Instead of being proud of me, I heard things like, “Why did you do this to me?” “How long do we have to live like this?” “Are you ever going to do anything to get us out of this hole?” Coming home after a long day of work was like volunteering for an interrogation.

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