Memoirs of an Addicted Brain by Marc Lewis

Author:Marc Lewis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: PublicAffairs
Published: 2012-02-02T16:00:00+00:00

I tried to drown the symptoms in alcohol, which helped sedate me but did nothing for the depression or the physical symptoms. Dad was coming home in another day or two. I had to clean up the apartment and get rid of the evidence.

Jimmy called the next day. First he spewed a stream of ideas for getting more money, if only I could put up enough for another day. When that didn’t work, he begged me. For twenty dollars. He said he was sick. My deadened emotions suddenly flared into anger.

“Fuck you, Jimmy. Don’t talk to me. Don’t call me. I’ll give you ten bucks, which is all I have. I’ll leave it under the mat. I don’t want to see you again! Ever!” I slammed down the phone. I put the money into an envelope and left it for him. I had to walk. I was afraid that I would change my mind and call back. When I got out to the sidewalk, I crushed my syringe under my boot, tears streaming, then threw the pieces in the trash. A gloriously sunny San Francisco sky mocked me. I felt pathetic, writhing under its gaze. I’d walked half a block when a sudden wave of fatigue nearly dropped me. I crawled back to the apartment and slept.

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