Marry Him and Be Submissive by Costanza Miriano

Author:Costanza Miriano
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: relationships, religion, self help
ISBN: 9781618907226
Publisher: TAN Books
Published: 2016-08-24T04:00:00+00:00

There’s a priest in Perugia to whom a lot of people owe a very great deal. He’s called Fr. Ignazio Zaganelli, or to those of us who know him, Doni. He’s a man who has the capacity of a newborn baby to distinguish light from shadows. From the pulpit, he delivers judgments that are so blistering that when he turns around, you find yourself looking to see if he has a fiery sword hidden under his chasuble. My views are pretty hard-line, but compared to him, I feel like a progressive politician.

For children like me who went to his catechism classes, it was reassuring to have his solid guidance, free of complicated subtleties. We drank in his words with relief; with him we always knew where the truth lay, and as children it was nice to grasp it quickly and without difficulty.

Then adolescence came along. And with it the idea that we knew it all, the desire to be part of the opposition, and so began the disapproving sighs during his sermons.

But in the end, his parishioners decided that they couldn’t do without him and, in fact, through their prayers, brought him back from the edge of death after a heart attack.

I remember once at the wedding of one of my cousins how he completely ignored the groom and spent all forty minutes of his sermon addressing the bride: “It’s up to you now, dear bride. The success or failure of the marriage depends on the woman first and foremost. Be a good person and a sweet personality and have an open heart. Be submissive, not in the sense of being dominated or being subject to violence or any kind of pressure, but rather in the sense of having a spirit of service, spontaneous voluntary service to others, ready to anticipate people’s needs, and be welcoming.”

The longer Doni spoke, the more the smile on the bride’s face began to vanish—she seemed to be wondering if she was being set up—while the groom’s grin widened, though he seemed to be wondering if he had been forgotten. As for the guests, there was a contest to see who could huff and puff loudest, apart from those like me, who took advantage of the awkward situation to doze off on the uncomfortable wooden pews, despite these having been designed by a sadist. (When you have had a baby awake all night with colic, you can doze off anywhere.) Outside the church, the kindest comment I heard about the priest was, “He is totally crazy.”

It’s true, Doni is not well known for his mediation skills and considers subtleties a complete bore, but in a way, what he said was right. This is the moment in history when we must throw off the logic of domination, which is a perversion of the man-woman relationship. This was the view of Cardinal Ratzinger, who went on to become Benedict XVI, and the rallying cry of liberal writers like Lidia Ravera and Natalia Aspesi. The point is, though,

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