Long-Distance Grandparenting by Wayne Rice

Author:Wayne Rice
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships;Grandparents—Religious life;Parenting—Religious aspects—Christianity;Child rearing—Religious aspects—Christianity;REL012030
ISBN: 9781493417421
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2019-02-18T00:00:00+00:00

Moving Near the Grandkids

This is sometimes referred to as “chasing the grandkids” and it’s not for the faint of heart. But many grandparents choose to do it, even multiple times.

In some cases, such a move may be necessary for you. If your children are in the position of providing care for you as you get older, it’s hard for them to do that from a distance. And they are the ones who likely have to stay put. So they may invite you to move closer or even to move into their home if they have room for you. While this may create some hardship, it more often than not makes life easier for your children as well as for you.

In most cases, however, the decision to move closer to your children and grandchildren is optional and needs to be made by you with the best interests of your kids and grandkids at heart.

For some grandparents, the decision to move is a no-brainer. The reasons are clear: Life is short (and getting shorter all the time), and they don’t want to miss out on spending time with their grandchildren! So even if it is difficult to pull up stakes and move to another part of the country, it may be worth it in the long run.

But a move is not without risks. One, of course, is that your children may have to relocate once again for work reasons and be forced to leave you behind a second or third time. That’s where the phrase “chasing the grandkids” came from. So you have to ask yourself—is moving from place to place a good practical or financial decision? How many times will you have to do this? There’s no question that the decision whether to be a nearby grandparent or one from afar takes a lot of thought and prayer.

Harriet Edleson, writing in the New York Times, offers this advice based on interviews with grandparents who have made the move to be near their grandkids:

Consider the relationship you have with your adult child. No matter how good it is, figure out your boundaries and how you would develop your own life if you moved.

Decide how you are going to spend your time in the new location. [One woman] found a part-time job and joined the local Chamber of Commerce so she was not always dependent on her family to use up her time and energy.

Realize you may be leaving longtime friends and the support of a community. Think about how to establish new relationships. . . .

Analyze the financial impact of moving. If you have more than one child and more than one grandchild, and want to relocate, compare the cost of living in each area with the cost where you are. If finances are not a big factor, you can move anywhere. If they are, make sure you figure out a budget before you put your home on the market.1

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