Life Among the Dead by Lisa Williams

Author:Lisa Williams
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Yasser Adnan
Published: 2010-04-04T14:00:00+00:00

Christmas came and went. We spent it with my parents, but on Christmas Day Charlie went over to spend the day with Simon, as planned. I had encouraged Charlie to have a good relationship with his father, as did I. I was a little concerned when I learned he had a rather serious new girlfriend, but I really shouldn’t have been. Life moves on. And it’s not as if she was going to take my place as Charlie’s mother. Also, it made me think of my own life, and how I needed to get on with it, and in late February of that year, 2002, I discovered a wonder of the modern world—Internet dating. Perfect for a busy, working, single parent, who talked to dead people in her spare time.

I chose the most reputable of the available companies but didn’t quite know how to describe myself online. I remember sitting down to write my profile, trying to answer the somewhat laughable questions. What are you looking for in a man? I’m just looking for a man, thank you very much. What do you like to do? I like to go to bars from time to time, to drink Diet Coke, but if you twist my arm I’ll take a real drink. What do you do for a living? I’m a witch. What do you do in your spare time? I was conscious that I might not get replies if I didn’t tick all the right boxes.

As it turned out, I got a lot of responses to my ad, though I’m not sure why. Maybe some of the men thought I had a good sense of humor. I’m sure all of them thought I was joking. They would send e-mails, telling me a little something about themselves, and I would do the same, and when I felt comfortable we would exchange phone numbers and photos. It was odd but amusing. I always got the sense that the guys were trying to figure out if I was good-looking, perhaps thinking that the photo I had sent was not of me. Some of them were painfully shy, some took a lot of interest in me being a single mom, but others were, I’m afraid to say, more direct: “You want to come over and have sex?”

“No, I do not, thank you. What is wrong with you?!”

“Nothing is wrong with me. I want to have sex.”

“Don’t you want to get to know the person a bit beforehand?”

“Not really. That usually ruins everything.”

A lot of the guys wrote detailed profiles that were designed to make them look appealing. Many of them went on about long walks on the beach in the moonlight, and poetry, and I got the impression they’d all read the same book, Internet Dating for the Complete Idiot. I thought it was madness to try to make one’s self sound appealing. You didn’t really know what people were looking for, so where were you expected to begin? I decided to just say

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