Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley

Author:Robin Talley
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2014-10-15T16:00:00+00:00


Lie #16

THE NEXT MORNING, I step onto the curb and wait for the shouts to start.

I don’t even know what names you call someone like me. I wonder if they’ll sound worse than the usual names. On the first day of school being called “nigger” felt alien. I thought I’d get used to it eventually, but I haven’t yet.

I wonder if I’ll get used to the new ones. Then I wonder if I’ll even have time to hear them before the beatings start.

I shiver. It’s not cold today, but I barely slept last night. The edges of my vision are blurry. I’d think I was still dreaming if I couldn’t feel the wads of parking lot gum sticking to the bottoms of my loafers.

Chuck walks out in front of the group. Lately he’s started smiling and waving at the crowd like he’s Miss America, even though it makes the white boys shout and throw things at him more than ever.

I walk behind him with Ruth and Yvonne. I wonder what Ruth will think when she hears what they’ll say about me. Just like on that first day, I want to put my hands over her ears.

The shouts begin.

“Niggers! Coons! Burrheads!”

I wait for the words to change. For the white people to see me in the group and charge at me. For them to pull me away from my friends and lay into me with kicks and punches.

My heart thuds. I should’ve warned the others. I don’t want anyone getting beaten on account of my sin.

I’m still waiting for it to start when we’re halfway across the parking lot.

But no one’s paid me any special notice. I might as well be any other Negro.

“Go back to the jungle!” a girl shouts from the middle of the crowd. Then she turns her back on us and goes on talking to her friends.

I recognize two of them. They’re in the Delta Tri-Hi-Y group. They must have heard the news by now.

But the Delta girls don’t even look at me. Everyone’s acting like it’s any other day.

Then I see her.

She’s standing with three girls I don’t know at the far edge of the crowd. Her back is turned. All I can see is the curl of her red hair and the slope of her chin as she leans down to say something to her friend.

Why isn’t she looking at me?

“Hey.” Someone’s pulling on my wrist. “Sarah! Wake up. We’ve got to keep going.”

I blink. I must’ve been staring at her for half a minute.

Ruth is gripping my arm, glaring. “Will you move, please?”

“Sorry.” I wrench my arm out of my sister’s grasp. We speed up to catch Chuck and Yvonne.

I can’t believe I let myself lose focus. None of us can afford to take risks like that. Anything could happen if we aren’t paying attention.

But I don’t understand. Why isn’t anyone coming at me?

Is it possible she didn’t tell them? That she wasn’t pulling a trick?

Is it possible she’s like me?

No. She is a perfectly normal girl.



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